Today sort-of moved slowly along

Today sort-of moved slowly along. I woke up super early, around 8:30, but ended up falling back asleep until noon. I have had slight headache and backache most of the day.

I did a bit of organizing paperwork and getting the file cabinet in order. Still more to do but I did get started. I got the dishes washed and dinner done before Dodger got home around 6:30. I also went through my click-throughs, did a few surveys and entered a few bloggy giveaways. I hope to be able to win my holiday gifts this season and use my survey money for gifts. Goodness knows how else we could afford them.

I really hope I feel better tomorrow. If I felt better and could get rid of this back pain, I could get so much more done. First thing I want to set sewn up is a comforter coverlet for Dodger. He's been sleeping with Dancer's old Scooby Doo comforter for a few years now and it is starting to get holes in the corners and just needs covered to upcycle it and make it an adult comforter. I have had a bolt of lightweight black denim in my closet for years, and it's the perfect width, so I'm using that. I already have it ready to be sewn up but I need to get the folding table cleaned off and to drag out my sewing machines.

After I get that sewn up, I'm going to start working on my dad's curtains. He's needed curtains in his living room and kitchen for some time now. I have the fabric for them, so I'm going to make that his holiday gift this year.

I also salvaged an old record player shelving unit some time ago and want to rebuild it into some shelves for Dancer. She's in need of more storage in her room and the only place left to go is up.

I really really need this back pain to go away. I have so much I want to do. I can't deal with another boring day like today. I think I'll go mad if I have another day like today.

Noon Rise and Shine

Yesterday I woke up around noon. I spent most of my afternoon getting my weight loss blog updated.

My back did better yesterday. I made sure to keep the natural arch in my back in every position I was in.

I did some up keep on the kitchen and bathroom cleaning but didn't really do much else. I made Sloppy Joes for dinner and watched House and Big Bang Theory with Dodger.

This morning I woke up around 10:30 but didn't get up and moving until around 12. I played on Facebook and Twitter for a bit, payed some bills online, and then decided to attack the filing cabinet and paperwork. I sorted through it all, tossed the junk, and now I just need to go back through what's left and make folders to get it all organized.

I also decided to become a serial killer today.... of flies! I don't know where all of those suckers came from. I killed about 7 of them and I still saw some buzzing around. I'm waiting on Dancer at the dance studio right now but when I get home I'm going to hunt the rest of those buggers down, during the commercials of The Biggest Loser, of course.

My back is bugging me more so than yesterday but no where near as bad as it was on Sunday. I took some back pain meds earlier, but I'm in need of some more at this point. I need to finish reading Treat Your Own Back so that I can start doing the exercises daily and help myself heal. I can't imagine feeling this pain everyday for an extended period of time. It was almost disabling on Sunday. I couldn't get up off the couch by myself. No, this is going to have to heal. I'm losing weight so that I can be active again. I can't have my back injured and keeping me from being active.

Warm fall afternoon

It's an absolutely beautiful warm fall afternoon. There's a wonderful breeze, so I get to hear the beautiful sound of the leaves rustling and wind chimes dinging.

Yesterday, I went to a birthday party for a dear friend's daughter. I went by myself since Dancer already had plans with my mom and step-dad. They went to a sale out at the fairgrounds and then to a party that a work friend of my mom was throwing. They have a party every year around this time. It's kind of an end of summer party. Dodger didn't work again yesterday because of the rain. It drizzled early in the day. Thank goodness it didn't rain all day. His job needed some time to dry out.

I have been having some pain in my lower back over the past week. Yesterday ended up being the worst. I couldn't believe how much in pain I was. I got some recommendations from my friend's mom on how to alleviate it and she mentioned the book "Treat your own back," which I have. I also stopped by Walgreens on the way home to pick up some meds for it. The meds did help quite a bit last night.

I started reading the back book today while Dancer was at Nutcracker practice, I think it's going to be a big help. I already understand the need to be sure that I keep a small arch in my back. I took some meds before we headed out today but I'm still feeling pain, just not as bad as yesterday.

Dancer went over to my mom's after dance practice today. They are headed up to the fall festival to help my grandparents tear down their booth. My grandpa sells old tools and my grandma sells old costume jewelry there every year. They will probably go out to eat later.

Dodger got home from work a few hours ago. He brought home some nice steaks. He's grilling them and I heated up some baked potatoes and green beans. Mmmmm... it smells delicious.

Time to eat and enjoy watching some football with Dodger.

My last night at work

So last night was my last night at work. If there was any doubt that I was doing the right thing by leaving, last night erased it. Out of the 8 people that were scheduled, 5 showed up. When I got there, I had no idea I was going to have to run the show. The manager on duty didn't know a thing about any call offs and no one, including the current supervisor, sent me a text to let me know they wouldn't be there. Sigh. Thank goodness it is no longer my headache to deal with. I got through last night without going crazy and without telling anyone where to shove it. I left my job without burning any bridges which is exactly how I wanted it. It takes class to do that when you work for managers that just don't give a shit.

Dodger didn't work again today. It's another rainy day. He does have some inside work he could have done for another client but this lady wants it done on her timing. Sorry, this business just doesn't work that way.

I've spent most of my day in my room listening to the Fat 2 Fit Radio podcasts and browsing the net via the iPod. Since Dodger is home, I'm not really able to attack the living room like I'd like to. He's been kind of a bug the past few days. Maybe I'll clean the laundry room later while Dancer is at tennis lessons.

So, Dancer has tennis lessons in a bit. She's also playing a match after lessons are over. She really doesn't want us to come and watch. She says it would make her nervous and that she would be thinking about us watching her. Maybe she'll change her mind before the match. If not, then I'll respect that even though I really want to come watch her play.

I hope to get a chance to work more on my weight loss blog tomorrow. I haven't had any good computer time with Dodger being home from work. I'm looking forward to my weigh-in tomorrow. I expect to see at least another pound lost. Next week I'm going to add some exercise to my week. I'm happy with the way things are going with logging my food and with my weight loss so far but I'd like to start speeding things up a bit so that I can really start seeing some good results when I look in the mirror.

Today I woke up via an alarm

Today I woke up via an alarm. I don't like doing that but some days it's necessary. I certainly wouldn't have wanted us to be late to co-op today. So, got up and ate breakfast. Dancer woke up shortly after. I told her to go back to her room and give herself a little time to wake up and that I would shower first.

Dodger didn't work today because of the rain. He was waking up close to the time we were getting ready to leave for co-op. At least he didn't sleep all day as he's been known to do.

After co-op we had planned to go to the zoo because it's free day but because of the weather and hunger, we decided to go home and eat. I went grocery shopping after lunch. I didn't do too bad. Spent just over $80. I won't need to go again for a few more weeks.

I really want to learn how to use rice and beans in cooking. I really think that would help me to stretch my food budget further as well as add some healthy complex carbs to our diet. Meat is not a big part of our diet, being that it's so much more expensive to eat that way but I think we could eat even less if I knew some great easy ways to use rice and beans.

Right now I'm sitting in the lobby of the college where Dancer takes dance. I will have to leave for my last night of work soon. I could have gone home after dropping her off at class but waiting and then heading to work from here will save gas.

I'm rather conflicted about leaving my job. I know that it's the right thing to do at this point. I don't want to stay. They really have taken advantage of me over the past 6 years. After finding out some facts over the past few days and further reflection on my part, there is no doubting that. I'm just worried about what it's going to be like to not have my own money. I know I shouldn't worry. It will work out one way or another. It's not as if I couldn't go find another job.

I really am looking forward to some homeschool projects that Dancer and I have planned. I'm looking forward to being able to be open and free to all things. That includes pursuing my own business ventures. I'd also like to start volunteering and getting involved in activist opportunities. I want Dancer to see how her hard work can help others and how one voice speaking out really can make a difference.

Ah, the possibilities in life are endless. That's so exciting, don't you think?

Catching up with friends

Today I woke up an hour later than I have been waking up because I stayed up late watching last night's episode of The Biggest Loser. I felt terrible when I woke up and had a bit of a headache. I ate breakfast but it still didn't go away, so I took some meds and that took care of it.

I haven't done much today. I thought I might work on my weight loss blog but my back began to hurt sitting in this computer chair. Then I thought I might clean my room but I needed to change the light bulb in my overhead light so that I could see. I changed the bulb but never started cleaning. It's just one of those days where I pittled with this or that but didn't dive into any project.

I did fill out my grocery shopping list. I supposed I will drive by the store on the way to dance class to see how late they are open. The store doesn't stay open very late, but it may be open long enough for me to drop Dancer off at dance and then I can go shopping while she's in class. There won't be any time for me to do it tomorrow because of co-op, the zoo, and another dance class. It may have to wait until Fri.

I did catch up with a few friends today via text. That was nice. One is going through a nasty divorce but she sounds better than the last time I talked with her and her kids sounds like they are doing better, too. I used to work with her at the job I'm leaving. She left there about three months ago and because of the divorce and how the kids were struggling, she hasn't gotten another job yet. Good for her. She's doing what's right for her kids and being there for them.

The other friend is pregnant and getting very close to her due date. She sent our small MNO group an email last week asking for prayers and good thoughts (because she's knows we aren't all godly, you know. lol.) because her little baby girl had turned breach and that would make her planned homebirth more difficult. She is going to see an acupuncturist this week, hopefully that will help get the baby turned back around.

I also have been struggling a bit with keeping my non-theist conversion a secret to most people, family and friends included. So, I talked with a pagan friend of mine to ask her if she ever felt that she wasn't being honest or true to herself by keeping her pagan views to herself most of the time. She said, no, because those views don't define who she is and aren't a big part of who she is. So, I have some more thinking to do. I have to decide for myself if I'm being less than honest because I don't share this part of myself with those around me because they wouldn't understand or worse, judge me.

Randomness of the day

Yesterday I started on my weight loss blog. I decided to go back to Aug. 19th, when I started logging my food, and go from there. I think I got a week and a half of my daily log posted. I should be able to get more posted tomorrow and my plan is to have it all caught up by the end of the week.

I woke up just after 10 today. I've been going to bed a little earlier and I usually get 9 hours of sleep. 9 is my magic sleep number. It's the number I need to have to be rested and well.

Dodger didn't work today because of the rain. He's been doing a large outside job and the rain makes it so that he can't work. He's been working really hard, so it's good for him to have a break today.

The family has been doing a good job keeping the kitchen clean. They've even been washing out their own recycleables and not letting them sit and get dried on food that becomes hard for me to get off.

I cleaned the bathroom yesterday. Yuck. I just hate bathrooms. I am way more aware of germs in the bathroom. I scrubbed the tub and the toilet and mopped the floor. Today I finished up with organizing the cabinets and wiping down the sink.

I will be taking Dancer to one of her dance classes in a few hours. Then we need to go return the DVDs and VHS to the library. We probably won't go in because I work tonight. It's my second to last night of work. I am still a little worried about not having a job and how all of this change is going to work out. But I'm so ready to not to have the stress that goes along with this job.

Dodger would really love for me to be able to find something to do from home, something that I enjoy. I want that, too. I've wanted that for years. So, I have a few more rooms in the house to clean, declutter and organize and then I'll feel ready to pursue something.

Well, it's now time for me to get cleaned up and prepare for my evening.

Beautiful morning

It is a beautiful morning. I've been right at an hour now. I went to bed right after 1am so that was a whole 9 hours I slept. I was super tired from getting up so early to go to the arts thing yesterday. And I think I got one of those tiny gnats (which have been really bad around here for a week or two) in my eye or I'm getting allergic reactions in the fall now, too, because my eyes were really bothering me last night.

I woke up with them still bothering me a bit. I washed them off in the sink but I think I need to flush them with saline when I get in the shower here in a bit.

My body is adjusting to eating within an hour after waking. I had breakfast (raisin bran, bananas, and milk) about 45 after waking. I didn't help that because I chose to have wine with my dinner that I couldn't have a late night snack. I did have a few baby dill pickles as my late night snack but that was because my stomach was crying out for food. I have a few baby dills when I don't have too many calories left to spare because their label says they have 0 calories.

I have to run Dancer to Nutcracker practice in a few hours. That will last about an hour and on our way home I need to drive by the junk yard to get the name of the place so I can call them tomorrow and get the details worked out for getting my old car towed from the shop.

I will have the rest of my day free after we get home. I think I'll focus on getting the bathroom cleaned and scrubbed down. I also need to get the garbage and the recyclables to the curb.

Well, the neighborhood has come alive since I came out here to eat breakfast and post. People have begun to arrive home from church or have finally gotten out of bed after a late night of partying. It's time for me to get cleaned up to head out.

I hope the rain on the Doppler blows over us. I'd like Dodger and Dancer to get some outdoor work done today and I'd really like to spend some more time on the porch later before the mosquitoes come out.

Arts in Central Park

Dancer and I went to Arts in Central Park today with a few friends. Arts in the Park is an annual arts fair where artists and crafters bring their wares to sell. I didn't buy anything, if I had brought money I would have gotten something but c'est la vie. Dancer did buy a few things. My mom gave her $20 to spend today.

I am trying to ward off the worries today. The whole job thing is nagging at me again. I'm a little worried how me quiting is going to affect our state aid. We have medical coverage and some food assistance. Dodger said he's not worried about me finding another job quickly. I really want to focus on the house, homeschooling, and sewing. BUT I will go find another job if me quiting my current job is going to affect our aid.

I've never been without a job in my adult life. I've worked at only 3 jobs since I was 19. I've enjoyed what I did at each job. I left one of them for lifestyle reasons, the other 2 (current one included) because of management.

I suppose I could use this time to go back to school. I could take as many online classes as my local community college offers. I'm still enrolled in an online program, for M.H. and N.D., that I started years ago and already paid for that I want to finish up. I think I'll make it a point to focus on that, I'd really like to get that finished up.

Dodger is wanting to get back into shape. He's developing a pot belly and slight love-handles. I try not to poke at his belly but I just can't help it sometimes. lol. He called a friend of his who is a coach and trainer to ask him how he should go about getting back into shape. He told Dodger that he needed to get a check-up first. Ha, that's so laughable. We don't have a regular doctor and I'm certain that it will be months before he could get one through the clinic. I'll call about appointments for us all anyway. We have a membership (via scholarship) to our local Y. We haven't used it most of the summer. I hope Dodger is willing to go with me and Dancer now, he's never used it. I have plans to go back to using either next week or the week after. I have the pool schedule written out as well as a few classes that I'd like to try.

Working Blues

Sigh. The job situation has deteriorated rapidly. My supervisor, who is leaving next week and is the reason why I'm also leaving, sent me a text saying that she still hasn't gotten her raise for when she took over the position. They owe her back pay for 70+ hours since she started the position over a month ago. Anyway, she sent me a text saying that because she hasn't gotten her raise that she will not be there tonight. Sigh. So, I called in, too. I really hate this. I want to leave my job of 6 years with a good reference, because I've always worked my ass off there, but I just can't deal with all of the shit any more. Sigh. What do I do if she decides she's not going to work next week? I really do hate all of this.

I spent my morning and part of my afternoon paying bills. I'm all caught up on that now. If I can't find another job soon, I'll need to come up with some other ways to bring in some money. I could go donate plasma again but I had some reactions the last two times I went. I'm also wanting to start sewing and crafting again. So, I might start an Etsy store when I get some stuff made. I have gobs and gobs of fabric in my garage from when I worked for two different craft stores here in town.

I spent nearly 9 years combined working for those stores. I really miss my old job. I only left because I needed a night job. The place I'm working for now had night shift when I started working there. They no longer do and that was ok at first because we would then work 9-1 but it's been earlier and earlier lately and that just doesn't fit into our lifestyle. That's another one of the reasons why I'm leaving but it's not THE reason. I'll never bash them publicly because they have been good to work for. I have ESO and they offer part-timers benefits like vacation pay and health care. It's just the job situation at this particular store has deteriorated to a point where working there is no longer an option. I enjoy my job and who I work with, I just don't enjoy the stress that's come from what's going on.

So, with the call off of work and Dancer going with my mom after tennis lessons, Dodger and I will get to spend some alone time together. This is a positive.

It's quite chilly in the house today. It's actually warmer outside then it is in here. I had to put slipper socks on and my feet are still cold. No fans going in the house today. Less energy being used. That reminds me, I really need to call about getting energy assistance for winter, the website says I need Social Security cards but I don't know where mine or Dancer's is. The gas bill is always a killer. I think it will be cheaper to buy space heaters and keep the heat in the house down. We're big wimps around here when it comes to weather extremes. We don't like hot and we don't like cold.

I cleaned nearly the whole kitchen last night. The only thing that didn't get cleaned was the upper walls and the inside of the fridge. Everything else is scrubbed down and it looks good. I'm really focusing on getting the house cleaned and decluttered so then I'll feel comfortable on focusing on sewing and making money. I need to get back to doing giveaways, sweepstakes and freebies, too. I have a blog just for that. I hope to eventually turn it into something profitable, too. I have skills, I just need to really focus and start utilizing them.

I just realized that I haven't eaten lunch. And I haven't logged what I ate for breakfast yet either. So I will do that before I run out of time.

Stir Crazy

Dancer is sick with a cold, so I went to our co-op by myself. I am the helper in Dancer's writing class and I felt ok with leaving her home alone for an hour. I did run to the grocery store afterwards to pick up milk and a few other things but I was home by 1:45.

She is stir crazy right about now. She really wants to go to dance class tonight but I still think she should give it one more day. There's no need to be grossing the other kids and parents out if she gets too hot and starts hacking stuff up. I doubt she's contagious anymore, she developed the sore throat on Sunday, but I'd rather be sure then to expose someone else to it.

I worked on adding some more fun things to our homeschool support group/co-op interactive student community website this afternoon and I just finished mopping the kitchen floor. It was nasty. It was dirtier than it looked. I'm updating my blog while I wait for it to dry.

I also added a weightloss ticker to the bottom of my blog page here. I'm a visual person, so I like to see it charted like that. I'm tempted to get on the scale today but I'm forcing myself to wait until my Saturday weigh-in day. I'm hopeful every week that my efforts have paid off on the scale. I'm certain that the math of it all doesn't lie. I haven't developed an exercise routine yet. I may do that soon. For now, I'm just trying to stay moving throughout the day and not sit in front of the computer too long or at all.

Dodger has been working long hours on this job. He's about done with the high stuff on this house, which is good because the high stuff freaks me out. The rest will be easier and should go more quickly.

I still need to figure out what to do about my own job situation. I don't know that I feel right not having a job. I do have ideas for my own creative ventures and I really want to pursue that. I guess we'll see how it all goes. I do need to call and find out if I can cash in my ESO from my current job. I've got a nice sum on that that is fully vested since I've been there so long. I will put that on my list to do tomorrow. It's important, I don't want to lose that money.

I also need to call about getting my old car towed and junked out. It's been sitting and the shop since it went out back in April. I've had another vehicle since the end of May. I really shouldn't have waited to so long to take care of this. I told my dad that I'd get it taken care of soon. I'd better do it before he drives by there and still sees it sitting there.

I still need to figure out what to make for dinner. It will probably be some sort-of hamburger helper type meal with veggies and potatoes.

Put In My Two Week Notice

I turned my two week notice at work last night. This wasn't something I was planning on doing but our new supervisor let us all know that her last day was going to be next Thursday. Her husband, who's been out of work for quite some time now, got a good job at a new truck stop but he has to work 3rd shift for a year before he can move to day shift. I knew down deep that I would be defaulted to taking care of things again and I wasn't about to go down that rabbit hole again. Not after the way things played out a few months ago when we lost our last supervisor. So I sent Dodger a text on my break telling him that I was putting in my 2 weeks and he replied, "Ok." I put a note on my manager's desk letting him know that my last day would be next Thursday. He never said anything to me about it but he did ask the supervisor if something happened and she said "no, she (me) just doesn't want to go through that mess again."

I'm thinking I might put my application in down at Walgreens to work 10 - 2, three or four nights a week. It's right down the road from me and I know the place well because I shop there all of the time and the employees that work there are always pleasant. I'm also thinking about what I could create to sell. I love sewing and crafting. I wonder what people are looking for in this economy. I suspect that people still want creative, individualized items but want them to be useful. People less frivolous these days and I totally respect that because I am too. Every dollar counts these days. I'm even picky and thrifty at the thrift store.

I spent most of my afternoon on the web again today. I had some things that I've been wanting to do on my blogs and felt today was the day to work on them. I really hope to make some of them profitable for me.

I called my nephew earlier this evening. He turned 6 today. He's just so cute. I wish my sister lived closer. I really think it would be easier to heal our relationship if she did. I still hold some resentment towards her over something that happened years ago. She was not at fault for what happened but I'll never understand her reaction to it.

Dancer has been sick this week with a cold. She's missed all of her activities so far and I suspect that she'll end up missing tomorrow's activities, too. I hope she's better by Friday afternoon. Tennis lessons cost way too much to miss.

Sickies and Working Blues

I've been on the computer way too long today. It started with just checking my email and getting some updates done with our homeschool support/co-op webpages and then I got into playing around with the interactive student website to add more apps, widgets and RSS feeds to make it full of fun educational info. I've been doing that most of the afternoon. It looks fantastic and I'm glad I know how to do more with the features on the website now. But it is time to get off of here. My back hurts from sitting and it's getting too warm sitting in this chair.

Dancer is sick with a cold. She caught it sometime this weekend. People really need to stay home from activities when they are sick. She could have picked something up at a handful of places since Friday. I feel bad for her, she'll have to miss dance tonight. I'm not one of those parents who takes my kid out when they are sick and exposes other people to getting sick. Dodger and I are just hoping that we don't get sick. We'll just take it one day at a time, her whole week is full of activities. I hope she doesn't have to miss too many.

I have to work tonight. Blah. We are training 4 newbies tonight. It's not going to be pretty.

I haven't gone out to the porch yet today. I think I will go shower and then go outside for just a bit. It's a beautiful day out. A little cloudy, so the sun isn't shining as brightly as it could be. But it's nice and warm out there.

The new season of the Biggest Loser starts tonight. I'm going to go set the VCR timer before I forget about it.

Squirrels frolicking

I'm sitting out on my porch soaking in another beautiful afternoon. The air still smells like summer and it feels much warmer than the 77• that the weather app on the iPod said it was a few hours ago. The only hint that fall is coming are the cooler nights and the sun setting earlier.

I've watched a few squirrels frolic, one of them with a fresh nut in it's mouth. And the neighborhood black cat is trotting from house to house. It came right up on our front sidewalk just now but when it saw me it started to move on at a quicker pace.

Now I see that there are two black cats in the neighborhood. Funny I have never noticed that before. They are both hanging out together across the road.

I'm so happy to be home and just chillin today. I'm also glad that days like yesterday are few and far between. I love my family but don't really like them all that much. Two have to see two parts of the family on the same day was a bit much. There's Dodgers' family who I don't know all that well and don't see that often and so they don't really engage me in their conversations. I was bored stiff for that 3-1/2 hours. Then there's my mom and her side of the family. Well, they are all so passive/aggressive that it drives me nuts to be around them. Like the comment that my mom made when I asked her if the veggies had been steamed and if they had any butter or margarine in them. She acted like she was annoyed that I was asking what was in stuff and off-handedly said "we only use butter in this house.". Ugh. I just wanted to know what was in the food. I haven't lost 14 lbs since the 19th of Aug by not knowing exactly what I was putting in my mouth.

So here I am back on my own turf where I feel comfortable in my own skin. The house is in a nice state of comfortably lived in look. Dishes are done and the counters are wiped down. I'm wondering what I should make for dinner. Maybe I'll ask Dancer what she would like. I also think that I'll go in and sweep and mop the kitchen and maybe the bathroom. The floors are looking a little worse for wear.

Dodger has started on a big outside job, so I expect that he'll use as much of the sunlight as he can get over the next few weeks of no rain in the forecast.

I think I'll sit here for a little while longer. There's no rush. I really like this speed of living.

Busy Busy

I'm not fond of spending full days away from home especially ones where I don't have full control over what there is to eat.

Dodger had a family reunion this afternoon. I took my own food because reunion food is always high fat, high calorie food.

Then earlier this evening Dancer and I went to a birthday party at my mom's. I guess we were celebrating all Sept birthdays in the family. I wish I had brought my own food. I would have gotten comments either way. At least with my own food I wouldn't have had to guess how much I was eating and wouldn't have had to use the food list on the Lose It app and hope that the totals were close.

Oh, well, it's over now and I'm safely back at home. I'll be drinking lots of water and tea tonight because of my guessing game of a day. I really hope that this day doesn't have any adverse affect on the scale on Sat.

Cravings

I don't deny myself anything but I do choose to use my calorie budget wisely. I prefer to eat more fruit and veggies and foods that will fill me up rather than empty calorie foods where I will be hungry again in a short period of time.

But I do still get cravings for sweet things sometimes and I still want to stay within my calorie budget, so grabbing a piece of fruit isn't always an option in those situations. I instead drink Stevia sweetened iced tea. I also brew the iced tea with a few tea bags of herbal tea to give it a little infusion of flavor. Stevia is an all natural herbal sweetener and doesn't affect blood sugar. I use the liquid form and add 20 drops to a quart of iced tea. I made raspberry infused iced tea earlier this evening. It smells and tastes wonderful and gives me enough sweetness to satisfy those cravings without adding any calories.

If you're wanting to steer clear of caffeine, then I'd recommend using green tea instead of regular tea bags.

The most lovely of lovely

The weather is spoiling me! It's just been the most lovely of lovely lately and I've been soaking it up like an empty sponge. I'd really love to pull the recliner out here to the porch and enjoy this afternoon in pure comfort. I have my big fat book, "Women Without Superstition," out here beside me ready to dig into again but I decided I should update my blog first.

Dancer had Nutcracker auditions this afternoon. I can't believe they want $60 for her to be in it and there may even be more charges to come. That seriously annoys me. They want to charge families for them to come be in a production that wouldn't happen without them being involved. Ridiculous!

Dancer is getting ready to head out for an evening of fun with my dad and uncle. They are going mini-golfing, go-carting, and bowling. Then they are all going out to eat at the buffet for dinner.

I'm going to stay home with Dodger and do who-knows-what. Maybe I'll read. Maybe I'll clean. Maybe I'll take my measurements and figure out how much fabric I need to make myself some more clothes. I have a pattern for a pretty caftan and for a nice tunic. This caftan I've been wearing really, really needs to be retired.

Maybe I'll run down to the Redbox again. It was out of order yesterday so I wasn't able to get a movie for Dodger and I to watch. I'm really just loving being able to just let my days flow and be what they will be.

Emotionally beat

I woke up this morning feeling like I had been beat-up. Emotionally, I was. Dodger and I had a fight before bed. Actually, I went to bed so I wouldn't have to fight with him anymore. It's always about the same f-ing thing... what time I go to bed. He has this big hang up on my staying up late and the waking up 2 to 3 hours after my Dancer wakes up. We actually had another fight via telephone this morning. He admitted last night that he had some depression last month because of his work situation. Well, that doesn't sit well with me because I never once made him feel like he was a mental case or told him to just get over it. HE DOES DO THAT TO ME! Not cool, just not cool. I went through a few really shitty months a month or two back and he didn't support me through it at all. It was my online friends who helped me through. Thank goodness for them and their advice.

I ate breakfast and lunch out on the porch again. It's another beautiful day today. I didn't really spend any other time out on the porch other than to eat out there. I miss it, maybe I'll take some time tomorrow to hang out and do some reading out there or even just watch nature and the activity of my neighbors.

I'm still doing well with logging my food via the Lose It app for the iPod. I had some serious cravings for that elusive something yesterday evening but I pushed past it and still came in under my daily calorie budget. Before today, I am 237 calories under my weekly budget. Weigh-in day is tomorrow, I hope to see another pound or two down from last week.

I spent some time today updating the website for our new homeschool support group and co-op. I added a monthly calendar of events, changed the background theme, added pass-over instructions to the links, and made some of the pictures clickable for a larger view.

I also did some light cleaning in the kitchen today. I washed the microwave turntable plate and scrubbed it down, inside and out. I also wiped down the pantry cabinet. The dishes are done and the cabinet tops and stove top are wiped clean.

I just dropped off Dancer to her first tennis lesson of the fall. Another $374 just disappeared off of my available credit. Tennis lessons aren't so much when you break down the cost per lesson, it's just the having to pay for it all up front that hurts. We are not members of the athletic club where she takes lessons, so I don't get the payment plan option like members do.

After practice, she's going down to the lake with my mom and step-dad. There's some 9/11 remembrance car show and music going on. Not my style, so I won't be staying, but I don't mind running her down there and dropping her off. Maybe I'll stop at the Redbox on the way home and get a movie for Dodger and I to watch. I can afford a $1 rental.

Dancer has Nutcracker auditions tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to one more thing to take her to this fall. We're already at the dance studio 3 times a week. No big deal if it was just down the road but it's 20 min across town. The gas adds up with all of that running back and forth. Oh, well, it is what it is. I will always do what I can to make sure that Dancer is able to do these things that she loves. I'm just so glad that golf lessons don't start up again until November.

Another gorgeous day

It's another gorgeous day outside today. I managed to eat my breakfast of raisin bran with bananas and whole milk out on the porch again this morning. It was a quick breakfast with no time to really take in the beauty of my surroundings. But I still wanted to start the day off right by enjoying the bit of time I did have.

Today was the first day of our newly formed homeschool co-op classes. Well, our group really took over an old group and reshaped and overhauled what there was and turned it into a full support group with co-op classes being one of our options. The umbrella (support) group offers field trips, mom's support, beginning homeschooling support, etc... to those that haven't chosen to take co-op classes. Dancer is taking the Beginning Writing class and the Hobbies For Life class. I am the teacher's helper in the writing class, pretty much because I'm really good friends with the teacher. I don't *have to* help in any of the classes because I'm on the committee.

The writing class is using The Jr. Secret Writing Club curriculum plans by Lydia Netzer.

During 2nd hour classes, while Dancer was in her Hobbies For Life class, I sat in the cafe and enjoyed the free WiFi and chatted with some of the other moms. I love free WiFi! I can catch up on emails, twitter and even blog if I want to, while I wait. Our co-op really loves our new meeting place. It's so much bigger and nicer than our last place. They even have a computer lab that we hope to make use of in the future as we grow.

Dancer isn't taking any 3rd hour class this fall because there wasn't anything that sparked her interest. Hopefully in the spring there will be something she wants to take that hour. But really, it doesn't bother me that she's not taking something all 3 hours. It saves me money and time.

We both enjoyed our lunches on the porch after co-op. Dancer also took her writing homework out to the porch and worked on it there for awhile until she decided that she needed to use Google to help her spell out some words instead of looking them up in the dictionary. Got to love Google... it makes our lives so much easier.

I swept the porch again and wanted to lounge but the mosquitoes were making a meal out of me, so I came in and decided to blog from the computer today.

We'll be headed out to the dance studio again this evening. Dancer has jazz class tonight. I don't work, so I'll be hanging out and waiting for her. Maybe I'll catch up on some podcasts or reading while I'm there.

I keep meaning to call to get an appointment for heating assistance this winter and to get my old car towed from the shop. I also need to pop over to Apple's For Poppy Anne and get signed up for her new Snail Mail Revolution. It's going to be a lot of fun.

It's a little overcast outside today

It's a little overcast outside today. The Doppler on the weather.com has some rain moving through south of us today. I enjoyed my breakfast of Rice Krispies, fresh strawberries and whole milk out on the front porch again today. I'm taking advantage of every last moment of summer that's left.

I work this evening and am feeling slightly annoyed by that fact. I'm focusing on things that will help me take my mind off of that right now. This is supposed to be the last week that we have to go in so early to work. They have hired 4 new people to work with us but I haven't a clue how they are going to get trained properly. I won't worry about that, it is what it is.

I started a new book last night (one I got through inner-library loan) called, "Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief." It is a follow-up book to "Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion," which I haven't read but from what I can tell it's not going to make any difference to read them out of order. I also got another book from the library called "Women Without Superstition 'No Gods-No Masters': The Collected Writings of Women Freethinkers of the Nineteenth & Twentieth Centuries." I'm looking forward to digging into that, too.

As for theology and personal beliefs, I'm still fluxing all around. Spiritual Atheist, Pantheist, Humanist, with a bit of Panentheist thrown in. It's all a big mix of a mess, so don't ask me to label it... I'll refuse! LOL. I have a burning desire to learn as much as I can about different theologies and beliefs AND why people believe what they do. I could really see myself going into sociology with a specialization in belief systems.

Dancer has just made herself lunch and I think I will do the same. Maybe the rest of my afternoon will be filled with reading on the porch or maybe I'll do some light housework. It all remains to be seen.

No witty title...

I'm beginning to find it a little annoying to think up a title everyday for my posts. Lately I've found everyday to be a beautiful day, rain or shine. Why do I feel it's necessary to title my posts?

Today is so so beautiful. The sun is shining bright and it's so warm out. I enjoyed my breakfast and lunch out on the porch again today. I enjoyed fresh strawberries on my cereal for breakfast and fresh tomatoes on my sandwich for lunch.

The brick edgers that Dancer added to her flower garden have only enhanced the beauty that I get to see from my front porch everyday. Summer is still hanging on. The leaves are still a beautiful green and there are still various flowers blooming and spreading beautiful splashes of yellows, pinks, whites, and blues all around.

The only tree I've seen starting to turn is the one in my back yard. It's a weed of a tree. I scavenged it from the side yard when it was just a tiny runt of a thing and planted it to replace the one that had died off and been cut down. I've been torn about whether or not I should cut it down. I really want a garden and we have very little shade with all of the trees in our yard. It's a very small yard to begin with, so the two trees in front and two in back have pretty much shaded the whole yard. I wish there was a place for a community garden locally. That would solve my problem but I've never seen a spot or an interest in one.

Dancer and I saw a squirrel earlier this afternoon with a fresh nut in it's mouth. It scurried up the front yard and up one of the trees. A little bit later I saw it scurry down the other tree and the down the driveway towards the back yard. Somewhere up in the tree branches it had crossed over from one tree to the other. It was all really cute to see. He's preparing for the coming winter months, I'm sure.

I have preparations to do, too. There's storm windows to be put in and air conditioners to be covered. There's yard waste to be hauled out and things to be trimmed back for the winter months. Maybe I'll get to these soon but for now I'm going to suck up as much as I can of what's left of summer.

Warm end of summer day

It's a wonderfully warm day in September. Dodger and Dancer have gone to the hardware store to pick up some garden edgers that Dancer wants for her flower garden. (Still need to post the pictures I've taken of that.) I'm out on the front porch again taking in the sun and sounds of life.

I've been up for about an hour now. I was pretty groggy this morning and slept longer than I expected to since I went to bed before 2:30. I watched TV until 2 and then read for a bit. I woke up enough around 11:40 to turn my little bedside light on but then turned over and went back to sleep for another hour.

I've started reading this awesome book called, "Living, Loving & Learning" by Leo Buscaglia. I understand it to be a written form of many talks he has given. From what I can tell, he's an educator (college level) who's harping on the state of education in our country. Some of this stuff was written way back in the late 60s to early 80s. Funny how nothing has changed in our educational system since then and the programs that have been implemented have only made things worse.

Anyhow... I got a little rant in right there. LOL.

What I've read could be applied to any area of life not just in an educational setting. His first piece is called 'Love as a Behavior Modifier'. It's about being human, embracing our humanity, relating to one another through and with love, getting rid of labels and getting real.

The next piece is called "On Becoming You". I hope to get through that one tonight.

We're heading to my dad's later for dinner. We'll probably take the Wii and have a bowling tournament.

Another beautiful storm

I'm sitting out on my porch again this afternoon while all around me it's pouring rain. The smell and sound is so peaceful. I love the canopy of trees that's covering my front porch. Without them I wouldn't be able to sit out here and enjoy the rain. The thick muggy air has been replaced with a slight chill from the rain passing through.

I went to the grocery store earlier today. I was expecting it to be way busier than it was because of Labor Day tomorrow. We are good and stocked up again on milk, bread and fresh fruit and veggies. I spent just over $100, so that leaves me about that much left on my card to go again in a few weeks. Thank goodness that we have an Aldi store in our area (we have 2 and one of them is just down the road from me). I know that I can get what I need there and spend about half of what it would cost me at the regular grocery store. I know some people do great with using coupons but I don't get the paper and don't want to drive all over town to get the best deals. I have a one stop shopping experience with Aldi and that's more my style. I also love my local Walgreens for household items.

I enjoyed my lunch out on the porch and Dancer even joined me for a bit. She has a tough time just chilling outside. Either her mouth or her body has to be moving at all times. I was never like that. She's very much an extrovert, while I am very much an introvert. I recharge with alone time and she recharges around people. I do hope for her that she can be able to just be... with nature and spirit... this may be something that she will need to learn to do as it doesn't seem to come naturally to her.

I think I need to go to the fabric and craft store this week. I'm starting to feel the need to create again. I want to make myself some beautiful caftans, the black butterfly one I own needs to be retired to wearing only around the house. I also want to make a loom knitted baby blanket for a friend of mine who will be having a baby in less than a month. I know she's going to cloth diaper, so I want to look up some soaker patterns, too. I also want to look into what I need for ATCs. I have so many ideas. I wonder if I should write them down or just let them flow as they come to me? I worry that ideas will pass me by if I don't write them down.

I also want to get our homeschool outline finalized so that we can get started on doing all of the things that we want to do. I have to remember that lists and guides are ok, they don't have to stop the flow of living life naturally, they can be my memory of what we had planned and the direction we wanted to go. Most importantly, they can be changed as we change.

The Exquisite Rain

I woke up right around 11 am today. I got up and took advantage of the computer being free and caught up on updating the website for our newly formed homeschool support group and co-op. I meant to get that done yesterday but Dodger didn't work and spent most of the day on the computer.

At about 12:30, I realized that I hadn't eaten so I got some cereal, topped it with the last of the fresh strawberries, and came out to my little nook on the front porch.

It's a drizzly rainy day out with just the slightest chill in the air. The smells and sounds bring back memories of misty mornings in FL on my uncle's lake. Oh, how I miss On Golden Pond! I miss my uncle terribly, too. He's a soulmate of mine. He's one of those rare freethinkers, always questioning, always growing. I think I should give him a call this weekend.

This weather also reminds me of family vacations when I was a kid. Memories of mountain mornings at the camp ground and of all of the great places we got to visit as a family.

No one is out on my stretch of the block today. The young homeschooled girl two doors down from us was out on her porch when I came out here to enjoy my breakfast but she's no longer out. There's just me and the sounds of the world. Rain hitting the leaves, birds chirping here and there, a few cars driving by on the busy road a few over and distant sirens of an ambulance.

I almost wish moments like this could be captured and bottled up so we could return to the beauty and simplicity of it all when we have those moments of pain and chaos. But I have my words here and maybe a few pictures (as I should go get my camera) to return to.

Thank goodness for sunny summer days

I really need to adjust my sleep schedule. There's no good reason for me to get home from work between 12:30 - 1 am and then stay up until 3, especially since all I'm doing between that time is watching TV.

Last night was a long night at work. Everyone thought I was on speed because I was just killing it and moving through it so fast but I was just feeling good. We were scheduled from 6:30 - 12:30 but clocked out right around 12 and we had it all done! :)

After work I dropped our house payment off in the overnight box and came home and vegged out too long in front of the TV until 3. I remembered to take the St. John's Wort and then went to bed.

I've been out of bed less than an hour. I woke up around 12:20pm, grabbed some iced tea, Excedrin and came out onto the porch to get some sunshine and fresh air. It's so beautiful out today. It feels like it's in the lower 80s out and I can still hear the sounds of summer minus the sounds of the neighborhood children playing. There are a few lawn mowers going and a few cars driving by a few streets down. My neighbor to the left is sitting out on his front porch enjoying the sounds, smells, and weather, too.

A squirrel decided to have it's way with a few of my planters sometime this morning. He left me with a few messes to clean up from his escapade. I don't know why they insist on digging up my planters for. What are they looking for? I still have to move a few things around to clean up the mess from the planter in the corner of the porch.

Dodger pressure washed a house yesterday for his new job. He's not working today, it must need a day to dry or something. He's been really annoying lately to both Dancer and me. He's been overly loud and inappropriate with what he says. He has an issue with not respecting our boundaries. I deal with it most of the time but it really bothers me that he's been so disrespectful of Dancer's. At 13 there are things she doesn't want talked about in front of her. She doesn't like cussing and doesn't want sexual/ private stuff being talked about in such a flippant way. I don't know why he's acting like this so much lately and I'm not sure how to get him to stop. It's sad because instead of wanting to be around him we just want to avoid him.

I think I'll work on some more cleaning in my room today. I made a decent sized dent in it a few days ago but there's still a bit more to do. I need to change the bedsheets and fluff the feather bed. There's still a small pile of stuff at the end of my bed that I need to do something about.

First I need to eat. Now that I've been up for an hour (yep, I've been writing for over 30 min) I'm getting hungry. Time to go jump start the metabolism and get it burning for the day. The meds have helped my headache and hopefully as an after effect has helped the soreness in my feet from work last night.

This day would certainly be much better without Dodger here annoying us but we'll survive. Maybe I can get him to do some work outside on such a beautiful afternoon.

Could it be anymore beautiful outside

Wow. Today was a perfect day for the park. Dancer and I met some friends for an afternoon at the park today. It was actually so breezy there that I got chilled a bit.

The kids all played great together, as they always do and the 3 of us moms sat and talked. Mostly about the state of health care and retirement funds. Of which, my family has neither. I know we all don't agree politically but there's just no question that something must be done. There's no good excuse for the USA to not have a fantastic universal health care system. We should be looking to Canada and Australia for systems that work.

I have state health coverage because my family is so low income. Dance has full coverage and Dodger and I have a co-pay. But I only consider it to be emergency coverage because no doctor will accept state health coverage.

It doesn't matter what your position on it all is because there's no denying that what's going on now isn't right and isn't working.

Lovely Afternoon

It is so beautiful out today.

I got out of bed around 12:30. I had some Rice Crispies and milk for breakfast. I checked my email and now I'm out on the porch enjoying the weather.

Dodger was home briefly just a few minutes ago. I think he came home to type up an invoice for a job he just finished. We were good until he asked to use my truck and I basically said no. He drives my truck a lot lately and doesn't put gas in it. How is that fair to me? I don't want to go donate plasma again for gas money and bills, it made me sick the last two times I went. So, he's just going to have to get over it.

I'm thinking about what I should do today. I still have plenty of cleaning to do in my bedroom. There's laundry that can be done. The laundry room needs organized again. The kitchen and bathroom need mopped. IDK. It seems like a waste of a perfectly beautiful day to me. Maybe I'll just sit out here on the porch and read more in Don Quixote.

A day to relax

I've spent the past few days catching up on cleaning around here. Today I did a bit here and there but really just took the day to enjoy the great weather. I spent some time hanging out on my clean porch again. I ate lunch out there again and played on the iTouch a bit until a few mosquitoes decided to make me their lunch.

I caught up on homeschool co-op stuff and emails. I looked up the Energy Assistance Program phone number since a friend of mine told me that they are making appointments for winter assistance now. We are getting a little more in food assistance per month now, too, so that will be helpful, too.

I'm cooking dinner now. It will be the Aldi brand Cheeseburger Macaroni Skillet Dinner (aka Hamburger Helper) and green beans tonight. I'll also have some cooked carrots since I have some in the fridge that need eaten up and neither Dodger or Dancer like cooked (canned) carrots.

I have to work tonight from 7:45 - 12:15. I have my snack packed and logged on the Lose It app already. I haven't started any formal exercise yet. Maybe in a few more weeks as the food logging becomes second nature. I do have more energy and I know the cleaning and less computer time is burning extra calories.

I did read the introduction in Don Quixote last night before bed and remembered to take the St. John's Wort.