Saturday, March 9, 2013

How's That Workin' for Ya? aka Do the Opposite


So, evaluate your life and the way you approach those things that push your buttons.  How's that workin' for ya?  Is it getting you what you want?  Is it promoting peace and love in your life and your relationships?  Do you overreact or let it go?  Do you even have to react at all?  I mean, really, is it that important that you nitpick to the bone every infraction put upon you?  Again, how's that workin' for ya?  How is what you're doing right now in life serving you?

If what you're doing is working great for you, then you've got this life thing pretty well managed.  You've learned some pretty important lessons about what's truly important and you rarely let things get under your skin.  You've got it goin' on.  You know that you're in control of your emotions and your actions and you take full responsibility for them.

If on the other hand, you're reacting to every little thing, you're always stressed out, and everyone else is to blame for your feelings, then maybe it's time to do the opposite of what you've been doing up to now.  Maybe it's time to stop playing the victim and start working on non-attachment.  Maybe it's time to take back the power you've been giving away and own up to your own roll in how you're reacting to other people's infractions.

I did it.  I'm still working on it.  Everyday is another day I get "tested" and every test is a new opportunity to be fully in control of my own emotions, my own words, and my own roll in this life.  I don't do it perfectly each time.  But each time I learn to be stronger in myself, so that I can do it better next time.  I work on being perfectly imperfect.  I'm good with that level of perfection.

My first steps into doing the opposite weren't easy.  They were uncomfortable because there was a comfort in playing the victim and martyring myself.  I had been hurt.  I had a right to be treated well.  I wasn't going to back down.  I, I, I.  But then, when I really thought about the end results that my actions and reactions were bringing into reality, I realized that what I was doing wasn't working and it damn well wasn't going to bring anymore peace and happiness into my life or the lives of anyone around me.  So, I changed--slowly and uncomfortably--I worked on things.  Imperfectly, I worked on things.  Slowly and eventually things changed.  They got better.

There's never any end to the process.  It doesn't stop with us until we die.  There's no easy button.  You either do the things that bring peace, love, and happiness or you don't.  Either way, you got what you wanted--you got what you worked towards--you reaped what you sowed.  It takes as long as it takes and it takes as much work as it takes.  It starts with you.  It always starts with you.

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