Neglect

Well, I've neglected my blog once again.  I've been so focused on living a healthy lifestyle that I just don't think about updating my blog.

This is actually a good thing, because I'm way more settled into living the unschooling life.  Dodger still struggles with some things but over-all it's good.

So what's my main focus for 2007?  To unclutter all aspects of my life!  To pursue balance!  And find it!  And to get my damn schooling fished up!... I'm SOOOOO behind!  I need to go hyperspeed through some courses and then ask for an extention.  Oh, and I have to write a disertation!  ARGH!  I'd love to get my CNHP and just not have to do the disertation... I'm just not sure that I'll have the money or the time to do it.

Back to my focus on my health.  I've lost 14 lbs since September.  I even lost 4 lbs over the holidays.  I've eliminated sugar from my life and don't eat when I'm emotional.  That's sobriety for me.  For the next 4 weeks starting Monday, Jan. 1st, I'll be doing this workout program:  Get Lean and Sculpted in 4 Weeks Flat  It will be a challenge for me but that's what I'm after.

It's Been Too Long

Shame on me for not keeping up with my blog!  I'll try to update what we've been doing lately.

Dancer is still in dance classes every week.  She takes Ballet, Hip Hop, Tap and Jazz.  She attends a really great homeschool sports program every week at LCC.  They are working on soccer this month.  She's taking some art classes at the DAAC.  There's a few homeschoolers in her class.  She's still taking Karate at the DAC co-op.  And we had our first 4H meeting of the season in October.

We have our rockets bought for the 4H meetings, the kids will be building the rockets throughout the year during club.  We are bringing a friend (the same great kid that got to spend so much time with us this summer while his mom {my great friend} was at work) with us to 4H this year, which is great.

Money was tight during October, so we didn't get out much.  It's getting cold and there's not as much stuff to go do outside at Rock Springs this time of year.  I'm not partial to cold weather either!  I'd rather stay inside and snuggle under the covers and read a book.

Dancer went to see the Santa Clause 3 movie with my dad and uncle on Friday.  She said she liked it, so that's good.  She's picky about movies.

She's still ubber into animals of all kinds, especially cats!  If she's not watching cartoons then she's watching Animal Planet.

I've been working a ton (which is great because I had hardly any hours during October).  I'm also training to be a chacha.com guide.  Once I'm through training, I'll be able to make money doing that, too.  If you spend a lot of time on the computer like I do and would like to be a guide post me a reply to this post.  I may consider you if you're a go getter and are dedicated to working your way up the guide scale.  I'll only get one invite when I get promoted, so I'm going to be choosing carefully.   I also have an ebay store set-up and now just need to make the time to get my stuff listed!  I'll put a link to my store up here soon.

I've been reading a book by E. Haas called "The False Fat Diet".  It's a great book.  It talks all about food allergies and sensitivities.  Last week was my cleansing juice fast.  The first few days area always tough to get through.  Most of the time you'll have lots of aches and pains and headaches.  I felt great by the end of the week.  So now I'm on the first few days of avoiding foods that I'm for sure that I have reactions to like dairy, sugar, and wheat.  I'm researching the Paleolithic Diet for some great foods that are right for our body chemistry.  My ultimate goal is to bring back my health.  I have started to develop what I'm sure is arthritis in my back and knees and sometimes it affects my hands.  This is all from the crystallization of the liquid in my joints... from eating foods that do damage to my body.  Losing weight is not my ultimate goal but it's going to be a huge bonus.  My extra weight adds to the stress on my bones and joints.

I'm going to get back to my chacha training now.  It's a ton of fun and I really want to get promoted.  I changed one of my keywords yesterday, so it will take me longer to get promoted because I basically started over on that keyword.  My keywords are now fasting, unschooling (of course!), and pilates.  It's been great to get some trainers who are actually interested in my keywords.  One today was actually thrilled to get some information on unschooling... isn't that cool!

I will NOT go this long without updating my blog again!

Preach it Sister!

So last night Dancer had tap and jazz class at RCC.  As I was picking her up from class, I noticed some CDs sitting on a table outside the auditorium.  So I stopped by to see what they were after Dancer got out of class.  The CDs were of the singer Barbara Bailey Hutchison.  I have heard of her before but never heard any of her songs.  As I was filling out the sheet to get on the mailing list, someone involved with the concert asked if we wanted to come in a hear the last 2 songs.  "Well sure," I said.  I was hooked, immediately!  The last song she sang spoke volumes... spoke of everything that has been in my heart and mind about how the Faith that I take as my own has become something distorted... something religious and hateful and hurtful... so much so that when people hear Christian, they don't think of Christ and Love... they don't think of grace and peace and joy.  It's something that hurts me so very deeply... maybe because I know it hurts my Lord so very deeply.

Anyhow, if you look to the top left-hand corner of my blog you'll see a little music play button... click it and you'll hear part of the song that spoke so much in so little time... "It's Love."  The words are below...

I read it in the news today
They're trying to pass a law to say
We don't have the right to love
Everyone the way we want
But who's to say what they believe
Is gonna be what's right for me and you
Maybe they forgot
It's love, it's love we're speaking of, it's love

If I was born left handed
Or if my eyes were blue
Would it make a difference
In what I mean to you
Will we see before we reach
The point of no return
Intolerance won't teach us
The lesson we must learn
It's love, it's love we're speaking of, it's love

It's love, that fills us with the light
By the grace of God
The greatest gift in life
It's love, that brings us to our knees
Faith and hope are strong
But greater than these is love
Fundamental ignorance
Based on religious fear
Will never get us anywhere
Certainly no nearer to
The One who's touch created us
And makes us all the same
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in the name
It's love, it's love we're speaking of, it's love

Another Unschooler... YEAH!

I have finally been blessed with meeting the only other unschooler that I know of in my area.  Dancer is taking a homeschooling sports class at LCC and her two kids are taking it, too.  I am so thrilled that I've finally been able to meet her and talk.  We've been exchanging emails for the past few weeks and it was nice to see that we had some common interests... as well as our kids having common interests, too.  We were instant friends... we have unschooling, gentle parenting, and an interest in natural health in common.

We talked all through the first session and Dancer wanted to stay for the second session to try out what the older group was going to do.  I was pretty happy that Dancer wanted to stay because I wanted to continue talking.

It was so great to so instantly feel at ease talking about my life and values... knowing that the person I was talking to has similar values and would respect any differences.  We talked about unschooling, parenting, relationships, health, fasting, church, religion, ...

So, needless to say... I'm even more at ease with my path... and know I have a 3D person around to share it with that will *understand*

Choices and *Have To's*

I've been in the process of reading "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" lately. Today I came across a great article that explains what Covey covers in more depth in his book. Finding out that I truly had a choice in all things (even in the things that I couldn't control) has been life changing for me.

Here is just a bit of the article and the link to the rest.

Life is filled with choices, from the mundane to the epic. For the most part it’s an invisible process. We make decisions on the fly through out the day. Other decisions are made with much deliberation and forethought. The ability to choose is something that empowers us, the knowledge that, no matter what, we have a choice. If a situation is out of our control, we still have the choice of our reaction. This knowledge can permeate our lives and our interactions with others. When keeping in mind that we always have choices, we are able to be present with whatever is occurring around us.

Choices, "Have to" and the Stories We Tell by Anna M. Brown

You Can't Always Get What You Want... Why the Hell Not!?

So there's a great conversation going on over at the unschoolingbasics group... I'm posting Kelly Lovejoy's response to the original message that got it all started.

Original message:

So unschooled children, won't they always be very confident they
"will" get what they want and then be also as disappointed as I am
about not getting it? I'm learning to deal with it though but it has
taken years of crying each month for not being completely happy :-(

-=-=-=-=-=-

I HOPE my chidren will always be confident that they will get what they
want. With the power to know *what* they want, they'll be able to deal
with temporary disappointments and set-backs. Thinking that they
weren't good *enough* or worthy *enough* could make them simply
quit---or not even bother to try. I'd much rather know that *they* know
that they are capable.

-=-=-=-=-

Original message:
There are no guarantees you will always get what you want.

-=-=-=-=-

No, but it IS guaranteed that, if you DON'T go after it at all, you
won't attain *anything*!

-=-=-=-=-
Original message:

That's my passion and that's what I always wanted. Sure,
my parents weren't supportive at all,

-=-=-=-

Sorry---you don't seem passionate *enough* to me.

Oh! And how is that "unsupportive parent thing" working out for *you*?
Do you want the same thing for your daughter? What would you do
differently for your daughter? Or do you think that being just as
unsupportive would give her an edge---or would it make her strive less
for those things that are important to her---I mean, you don't want her
to think she can have anything she wants, right?

-=-=-=-=-
Original message:

For doing music, like professionally or even semi-pro., you have to
kind of
"work" on it as much as you'd be willing to work for a "real" job, if
you really want to succeed.

-=-=-=-

My son, at 18, is a professional musician. Yes, he puts *many* hours in
each day to improve/learn new licks, etc. It IS his "real" job. He
*chooses* to make that his priority. He's backed off on the time he
spends watching TV, reading, talking with his girlfriend, and even
being on the COMPUTER!!! Because music IS his priority. But that's
true of anyone who is looking to make a career of anything. He CHOOSES
where he spends his time.

You just told us a week or two ago that you have no passions except for
the computer---now you're telling us that you have no time for your
passion of singing.

Drop the computer time! Go sing! Quit whining!

-=-=-=-=-=-=
Original message:

And then there is this big ammount of
millions of people who want the same, there is always someone who is
more skilled than I am (in singing, or in getting to know the "right"
people, in advertising himself, in arranging, in composing etc...)

-=-=-=-

PuhLEEZE! Quit yer bitchin'!

Thats what business is ABOUT! Being more skilled, more talented.
Knowing more people, advertising yourself, arranging, composing. THAT's
what the music industry IS.

Are you willing to DO those things? Don't go telling me that it's not
possible! I have a now 18 year old son who networks all OVER town and
knows ALL the big names here because he would go out every
night---since he was 15---to hear music and sit in on workshops and ask
questions and introduce himself to strangers and play at every possible
opportunity. And he's SHY! Well, he *was*! <g> He MADE the
opportunities FOR himself. I can't go anywhere in town now with him
without someone coming up to speak to him about music or film. He's put
himself OUT there.

He's not unique (well, he IS! <g>)---but this is how you make it in the
music business---you network. You play. You sing.

--=-=-=-==--=
Original message:

I used to think "if you only *want* something enough, you'll get it",
you just have to work hard, be creative, find ways etc etc. But this
is quite like the "American Dream" – if you really want it, you WILL
get it, it promises, but if you don't and stay poor, and don't
succeed to always get a greater job and get more money – it means
you are lazy "then you just didn't work hard enough". This is just
not the case, because not all people have equal opportunities!

-=-=-=-

This is just an excuse. The ONLY way people have made it IS by being
creative, working hard, finding ways.

ALL people have equal opportunities. Opportunities are OUT there.
Everywhere. Every day. But you're not going to find them sitting in a
room. Get OUT---go to clubs. Sing for tips. Sing for free. Just sing!
Sing at Open Mike Night---that's how Cameron ot his first paying gig!
He would go every Wednesday night to Open Mike Night. He played the
drums. Eventually the owner/band leader hired him as the house drummer
when his old drummer moved to be with his dying mother. Cameron has a
year contract with "Fatback and the Groove Band" as their drummer. A
paying gig. Just for showing up every Wednesday for four months!

OH! And their singer is also a waitress there--she gets up and sings
between tables! She can belt out some blues!!! <g>

-=-=-=-=
Original message:

And
though what I used to think had nothing to do with the American Dream
in the sense of growing rich out of nothing, it still implies that if
you don't succeed in what you "wanted" – then you probably didn't
want it enough, or you didn't try hard enough or you are just lazy or
dumb or whatever.

-=--=-

Uh huh. But you're going to tell me that you want it enough and are
trying hard enough and aren't lazy or whatever---right?

But I don't see you out at night singing! You're spending all your time
on the computer---you told us so!

You won't even sing at Christmas in front of your parents!

-=-=-=-=-
Original message:

And thinking that "if you only want somehting
enough.." made me confident I *would* get it – but I don't see it
happening at all, and this is since 10, 15 years now.

-=-=-=-=-

I don't think you were at ALL confident. I don't think you have been
out singing anywhere. For 10-15 years---you just *wished* you were a
rich and famous singer. *Wanting* something enough and *Going AFTER*
something enough are two completely diferent things!

Easy to say you weren't responsible for that.

Easy to blame parents the FIRST 10-15 years---but after that, it's up
to YOU!

-=-=-=-
Original message:

So the
disappointment of not getting what I wanted has caused many tears
over the past 5 years because my goal seems farther and farther away.

-==-=-

And WHAT are you DOing about it?

Throwing a pity party or going out and singing every night?

-=-==-=-
Original message:

So unschooled children, won't they always be very confident they
"will" get what they want and then be also as disappointed as I am
about not getting it? I'm learning to deal with it though but it has
taken years of crying each month for not being completely happy

-=-=-=-=-

First: Yes, I hope they will be very confident---beats the hell out of
lacking confidence, wouldn't you say?

Second: Their disappointments won't come from NOT trying.

Third: "Dealing" with it and "Doing" something about it are two
completely different things. Mine will be/are DOERS.

Fourth: NO one is "completely happy." We can choose to be joyful, and
we can choose to find joy in what we have and in what we're seeking. We
can choose to enjoy the journey. Crying every night because we haven't
put forth the effort will never make someone happy either. But going
after what we love because we LOVE is can be joyful and inspiring.

Go sing!

~Kelly

What we've been up to

It's been too long since I've posted. I've gotten back into a workout routine and post regularly on eDiets again. I even signed up for a challenge there. With that and posting on the unschooling yahoo groups, I've neglected my blog a bit.

A few weekends ago my friend Sarah and I took all the kids to the Prairie Celebration at Rock Springs. It's a festival of the way of life of how things were done in the past... many things in our area. We went last year... so we knew it would be good. We saw the raptor show again... and this time we were able to see the dulcimers play (that was really cool) and there was a Celtic fusion band there called the Emerald Underground.

THEY WERE AWESOME! I've always loved Celtic music because of my Irish heritage... and this just added that extra rock-n-roll sound to it... I can't tell you how good it was... it gave me chills.

Last weekend we went to the Arts In The Park in Central Park. Lots of fabulous artistry there! I bought a woven purse (the only booth that didn't have it over my price range)... it's just beautiful. I was really drawn to all of the fiber art booths... because I have always loved fabrics and textiles. I've been sewing and working with textiles since I was 5. We had a fabulous lunch with my friend SL and the kids at an Italian restaurant downtown. We even stopped at one of the local art galleries and I bought the adorable little hanging tea light lamps... which I wired to my railing on my porch. I now need to pick up some tea lights at the store and sit out on my porch in the evening and enjoy them (though it's darn cold here right now!.... it's supposed to warm up by the weekend).

Awana started at church on Sunday. I'm starting to take over the responsibilities of the Awana office... some things need tweaking but I'm not going to push it.

Oh, the new homeschool co-op  started a few weeks ago. My daughter is taking karate there... and she's just loving it.

We're just keeping active and getting out and enjoying life. It's getting chilly and I'll be coming up on the time where I struggle with seasonal depression... time to break out the light box. But with the exercise, the healthy diet, lots of water, supplements, the light box, and getting out and doing thing (we're going to try cross country skiing this year)... I'm hoping that the depression doesn't hit me so hard this year.

STOP THE HATE MAIL!

So I received this email from a lady I know from church. I responded to it because I don't agree with passing around this sort-of thing. I got a nasty email back from her daughter (who thought I had sent her some virus or something... it wasn't the case... there was no attachment in my email). Anyhow, the point is... that I'm sick of Christians passing this crap around the internet!!!!!!!

USPS New Stamp

This one is impossible to believe. Scroll down for the text.If there is only one thing you forward today.....let it be this!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of PanAm Flight 103!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the military barracks in Saudi Arabia!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the American Embassies in Africa!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM attack on the Twin Towers on 9/11/2001!

REMEMBER all the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those vicious MUSLIM attacks!

Now the United States Postal Service REMEMBERS and HONORS the EID MUSLIM holiday season with a commemorative first class holiday postage stamp.

REMEMBER to adamantly and vocally BOYCOTT this stamp when purchasing your stamps at the post office.

To use this stamp would be a slap in the face to all those AMERICANS who died at the hands of those whom this stamp honors.

REMEMBER to pass this along to every patriotic AMERICAN you know.

Here was my reply:

I can't say that I agree with the way of thinking in this email. Those Muslim attacks were by radicals... most not citizens of this country. What about all of the killings by Christians done in the name of God? There are MANY Patriotic Americans who ARE Muslim, too. Let's honor the diversity that this country has... and the freedom of religion that wars have been fought for.

Here is the nasty email I received back from her daughter:

All through time there have been factions-- caused by religion, race, geography, law, money, politics, more recently sexual orientation as well.

No one denies a lot more harm than good has been done in the past of mankind-- the Holocaust, forced death trails, evictions, mass murders from ignorance or greed.

But life moves on. Even those things we say affect us deeply only do so on a cerebral level, and too few of us use more than a tiny part of our inner brains. Most of our attention is caught up in bills, food preparation and family.

So if it's all the same to you, I'll thank you to stay out of my e-mail--freedom of speech is just as devoutly praised in this country as freedom of religion, and came first in the constitution for a reason.

With all that said, I don't give a damn what's on a flipping stamp. I'm pissed off that you dared send me a virus through what was intended to be a conscientious objection to the endless senselessness of a president all people with a modicum of intelligence wished would somehow manage to keep us out of war for the next little while. I think we're all sick of hearing about the death toll, of all involved.

Here is my reply to that:

Now that I check the original email sent by _____ (who is your mom... right ______?... your email is the same as the girl named as ______ in the email _____ sent)... there was an attachment to the email that I didn't open. I also checked my response email and there is no attachment forwarded. So if you received a virus from the email about the stamp then it would have been from the original email which you also received... directly from your mom (that's if you are _____... if not then _____ has your email address as her daughter's email address).

You may not care what's on a stamp, and that's fine. But this email is being passed around, spreading hate (very reminiscent of the way Asian Americans were treated during and after the Vietnam War), and the email IS about a stamp. Not about "a conscientious objection to the endless senselessness of a president, all people with a modicum of intelligence wished would somehow manage to keep us out of war for the next little while."

I am so sick of this kind-of crap floating around the internet and through email! Should we bring up the Crusades where thousands of people were killed because they were a different religion. I'm sick of being grouped into the mix of these kind of people when I say that I'm a Christian. This is NOT spreading the love of Jesus!

Oh, and what got me the most about her reply was this "I think we're all sick of hearing about the death toll, of all involved." OMG! Are you serious! Do you want to say that to the parents of soldiers coming home in a box!? *&q#$&*$&@#$*!!!!!!

I Love Tennis

Did I mention that I Love Tennis!  I don't play but I've always loved watching it.  The US Open started today, it's the last professional tournament for one of the best men's players of all time, Andre Agassi.  He won tonight's match.  He'll play again in 2 days.

It was really cool to see my most favorite female player, Stephi Graf, she's married to Andre so they showed her quite a bit during the match.

So, now's the time to take up at least watching the game... if only to say that you got to see Agassi's last match.

LIFE's Most Recent Activities

Update since Friday:

Saturday Dancer went for a day of fun with her granny and grandpa.  I was scheduled to work Saturday night, so I didn't go, and my mom and I don't really get along much so I don't like to just "hang out" with her.  They all went to the Weldon Homecoming.  They have games, a car show, and other activities.  My step-dad entered his GTO in the car show.  I have family that lives around there so they met up with some of them there.

Sunday after church (um, yeah, I didn't go again) there was an AWANA meeting we attended.  I am going to be taking over running the office next year.  And then we (Dancer and I) went to Rock Springs again with Sarah and her 3 kids.  The kids learned about and played games that the Pioneer children would have played in our area at the time.  My friend and I watched the birds at the watching window and talked.  A little deer came walking up while we were watching and took a drink out of the bird bath and then walked off.  It was so cool, I've never been that close to a deer before.

After the kids were done we went on a hike through the pine tree forest and then along some of the trails.  I loved being out in nature.  I was still very sore from working out and ballet class on Friday but didn't mind working up a sweat on the trails.  There's something way more enjoyable about hiking the trails.  You're also not walking on pavement so the ground gives more and it's not so rough on the knees.  Needless to say, I can't wait until our hike next Sunday afternoon.

Today (Monday) Dancer went out to my uncle's pool with her grandpa A.  He took the day off from work and wanted to spend some time with her.  I exercised earlier and have just been hanging out by myself.  I got an exercise calendar set up and checked in with some old friends on eDiets.

Unschooling Poem

This was written on a mural at the Children's Museum.  I thought it very fitting.

I tried to teach my child with books;

He gave me only puzzled looks.

I teach my child with words;

They passed him by often unheard.

Despairingly, I turned aside;

"How shall I teach this child?" I cried.

Into my hand he put the keys;

"COME," he said, "PLAY WITH ME!"

When was the last time you actually just PLAYED with your children?

Sleep at Last!

It is SOOOOOOO awesome to finally get the 9 hours of sleep that my body has needed since I was a teen.  Waking up after 9 hours is like clockwork... it just happens and is my body's natural schedule.  I haven't had that kind-of sleep in 3 years since I worked overnight for the past 3 years.  I am totally loving the new hours at work!  And I actually am working more hours now that we don't do the ad set overnight anymore... which means a bigger paycheck!  WooHoo!

What we've done the past few days:

Thursday we went to the zoo (free day again!) and spent time really looking at the animals.  I bought Dancer a zoo key last week when we were there, so we got to listen to some info about the animals as we watched them.  Dancer loves the wolves and the cheetahs.  We'll certainly head back there next Thursday... and every Thursday until the zoo closes in October.

Dancer had her first Tap and Jazz class for the year last night (Thursday).  She said she had a great time.  She really loves that class, especially the jazz, because it's way more exciting than ballet.  I've explained to her that ballet will get fun in a few years when she's in the more advanced classes.  Right now she's building the foundation for all that will come.  I told her you can't build a house from the top down... you have to lay the foundation so the house will be stable and grounded.  Dance is like that, too.

I just finished my workout... The Firm body sculpting system.  Now that I can be on a normal schedule, I actually have time and energy to exercise.  I can't wait to see my body change and actually recognize the face I see in the mirror.  Every-so-often I can see my skinny former self when I look in the mirror... now, I'm working towards seeing it everyday.  :)

We are heading to the Children's Museum here in a bit.  We need to put that membership to use.  :)  I have ballet class tonight (yes, I take ballet, too... I started about 6 years ago)... I brought the idea up to my ballet instructor to have an intermediate/advanced ballet class just for adults... and it happened!  It was getting way to weird to be in class with all the tweens and young teens.  And she can spend too much time harping on them because they have a tendency to get lazy with their arms and legs.  I can't wait to be in class again with just adults.

So I'm out-a-here.  :)  I sure do love the life I'm building!

How to Make Unschooling Work

How did I make unschooling work in my family?  I let go!  I let go of all of the old tapes running through my head of how things are *supposed* to be and just let them be what they are.  I started to change in myself what could be changed... what I felt I should change... what needed to grow.  I stopped trying to micro-manage my family.  I stopped trying to change them.

I looked at the beauty in the world around me... knowing that there are still some thorns and to watch where I step.  I choose everyday to look at the world through different lenses... different lenses than most people wear.  I choose to trust... my daughter, my husband, myself... I choose to trust the process that learning is organic and that we will get what we need when we need it.  I choose to trust my creator and live to bring peace, love, and joy to the world around me.  I choose to be proactive not reactive to my world.  I choose to reply to people with love and not anger.

Dodger still struggles a bit with letting go of the control... so I gently remind him to trust our daughter and to be there for her and talk to her about her world.  Not to control her world for her.

I look to other unschoolers who have *been-there-done-that* and take their example and apply it to my life... knowing that they are off the beaten path but they are way more grounded and living a much more beautiful and full life than the rest of the world that I see.  I take their opinions about my hang-ups and really try to see their POV... if I took it personally (like I've seen too many people do), I wouldn't be able to *get it* and apply it to my life.

It's Been a Good Week

Sunday, we (Dancer, my friend Sarah and the kids, and I) went to Rock Springs after church (which I played hooky from again... really, our pastor bores me to tears.. every so often he'll do a series study which I like... but he usually just does verse by verse in one of the books... yuck) and had lunch. The kids played for a bit and then went to the activity about weather. They did a craft, talked about weather, and went on a small hike. Sarah and I sat in on a talk about *early newspapers in IL*. It was really interesting. The guy had copies of a newspaper from Springfield circa 1860... the layout of the paper was VERY different then you would see today. Everything sort-of ran together and ads looked like articles... and there was no order to it all... they put it where it would fit. It would have been nice to have had the time to sit and read through it all... but we had to go get the kids from their activity.

My friends son has been over most of the week. He was supposed to start school on Tuesday but the administration found mold in the carpet so they needed to have it cleaned before the kids could start. He'll be starting tomorrow. It's been good for Dancer to have someone to play with but it will be nice to get our own routine going. We certainly won't be up at 8:30am everyday.

Dancer went to my mom's company picnic yesterday evening (Tuesday). She told me about some races that she participated in and I know she went swimming and dove off the high-dive. She was wiped out... Dodger said she went to bed around 10:30. I moved her to my bed before the boy got here this morning and she slept until after 11.

Dance starts this week. Dancer is taking ballet, tap, and jazz again and adding hip hop. I am taking ballet again... it was my idea to get an intermediate/advanced adult class together, so hopefully my work schedule won't interfere with it much... I was still working overnight hours when we planned it. Dodger will be taking her to class a lot this year because of my hour change at work. He'll finally *have to* help out with something. :)

Everyday Can Be Fun

Thursday was free admission day at Scovill Zoo.  The kids (Dancer and friend) had a good time.  We'll probably get a membership in the spring (the zoo won't be open much longer... as it closes for the winter season).  Though if we volunteer, we can get a free membership.

Friday night we had a Circle of Purpose (our women and girls group at church) movie night... we had it at my friend Sarah's place (her son is the one I've been keeping for her during the day while she's at work). The kids (she has 3... 1 boy and 2 girls) played most of the evening and the *grown-ups* watched an old Jerry Lewis movie called "The Ladies Man." He was certainly the Jim Carrey of that generation.

Today (Saturday) she's off to the State Fair again with my mom and her husband. They're going to check out some of the stuff they didn't get to last week and ride some more rides. I'm going to go give blood around noon... it's the annual blood drive at church. I give blood a few times a year.

Links of Learning

The past two days have been great.  We've been busy.  I took the kids (Dancer and friend) out to Rock Springs yesterday.  They had a great time playing in the kids center, watching the birds at the *watching window*, checking out all of the live animals, and looking at all the interactive exhibits.  I bought a *Birds of Illinois* field book for Dancer and she bought herself a *make your own volcano* kit.  I picked her up some free star and planet charts.

Yesterday evening we had GHE registration.  I found some awesome books amongst all of the curriculum... about woodworking for kids, fun experiments to do at home with stuff from around the house, a cool art book that shows the basics for drawing construction, a few field books about the weather and shells of the world, and a fun brain game.  We even got a rock tumbler and an ant farm!

Dancer had a great time playing and chatting with a few friends.  They spent most of the evening in front of this huge map of the world, looking for places they had heard of (Dancer was looking for some of the places she had read about in her volcano kit and at one point asked me to help her find Puerto Vallarta, Mexico because that's where my dad went for his honeymoon in June... he brought me back this gorgeous wrap and matching poncho... well it wasn't on the map so we'll look that up here at home).

I had a great time talking to everyone that I knew and even saw some faces that I wasn't expecting to see... new homeschoolers :)

Last night we went through the books on her bookshelves and picked out all of the books she didn't want to keep (pretty much all fiction... like me, she's not a big fiction fan) to make room for new things.  We came across a book about fish, their habitat, and life cycles... so, we spent part of the evening reading that.  She LOVES nature!  I'm so thrilled, she picked up that love from my side of the family... her dad doesn't get out much.  :/

Today we went to the Children's Museum again.  I got a family membership so we can get free admission and discounts on all of the extra events they host there.  Even if we only went to the museum once a month... the membership still pays for itself in admission fees.  Dancer bought a few science kits: *build your own glow-in-the-dark solar system planetarium model* and *mystic Egyptian tomb dig & play: digging adventure and board game*.

 All of this fun is learning!  All of the living and exposure and fun just brings about more of the same.  Life is the catalyst for learning and learning brings excitement to life.  You can't fake that and you can't force it... it's as they say, organic.

Activities for the Week

Wednesday I took the kids (I'm watching Sarah's son, he's 9, for her while she's at work... he'll be in school in a few weeks, so I'll finally get to sleep in a bit... her girls have a sitter but she didn't have anyone to watch her son, and then my hours changed at work so I offered to watch him for her... for free... wouldn't you do that to help out a good friend?... anyhow, back to the point) to the Children's Museum, they had a great time playing for a few hours. I need to remember to take a book next time, so I can get my *play* time in, too.

Thursday was their last day of swim lessons (though Dancer will be taking them through the fall and winter at the Y... lessons for homeschoolers). Dancer's Butterfly stroke has gotten so much better... she was doing a few too many wave movements with her body in between strokes and this last instructor actually did her job and corrected her. Her diving has also improved tremendously. She's been doing a great job keeping her legs together when she hits the water.

Thursday night was Family Swim night at the pool, so Sarah and I took the kids and had some fun. We did some laps in the pool to stay warm (the water was quite chilly, it had rained earlier and cooled off). I had Dancer show me how to do the Breast stroke, though I didn't try it because I had my glasses on (I'm about blind without them... I sure would love to have lasik surgery done!)

Friday night, Dancer went to a "Kids Night Out" at the Children's Museum. Three hours of fun without parents. :) I had to work anyway, so it worked out to give her something to do instead of the same ol' thing at home. She's still asleep (yea, for sleeping in) so I haven't had a chance to ask her if she had a good time and talk about all that she did. Dodger said she was in a good mood when he picked her up, so we think she enjoyed herself.

I looked through some of the stuff she brought home. I can tell that they did a bit of hands-on study of Forensic Science. She's got fingerprint cards, a magnifying glass, a paper that shows fingerprint shapes, and some finger print powder (with instructions for using tape to lift the prints). I LOVE FORENSIC SCIENCE! I have watched every show ever on TV having to do with the subject. Dancer has lately been watching them with me (since I no longer have TV limits and rules). We discuss how people can do some really horrible things but how cool it is that they can be brought to justice with such microscopic evidence such as fingerprints, hair and trace fibers.

Today Dancer is headed to the state fair with my mom and step-dad. She loves the carnival rides. I'm sure she'll have a great time. I'm looking forward to a day of domestic duties of my choosing and then I work again this evening. I am so happy with the new work hours and only doing Ad set now... no more stocking for me! :)

The TV is EVIL... What?

All of this talk about the TV being "evil" (by discussion on Always Learning group) got me thinking about how people project their feelings onto inanimate objects and give those objects power over their lives. Can objects really *BE* "evil"?

I then was WATCHING TV last night and stumbled across a show that I had been looking forward to seeing called "Most Evil" (on the Discovery Channel). There is a criminologist who ranks killers on a scale from 1 to 22 (22 being the most evil and disturbed). The first show was about couple killers (Partners in Crime), where a few of them were dominate men who dominated the female and in turn the female committed acts to help her partner commit violent heinous sex crimes and murder.

They go to a point in the show where they talked about the "shock box" Stanley Milgram (Click Here For More Information!) built after the Holocaust and one of the high ranking officers said in his war crimes trial that he was "just doing what he was told." He wanted to see just how far people would go when they were just doing what they were told.

Milgram brings in people to do this experiment. One as being the teacher and one the student. What the teacher doesn't realize is that the shock box is fake and that the student is an actor. The teacher is then instructed to ask the student to respond to a series of questions and each time the student gets them wrong they are to push a button that sends a shock to the student (the teacher cannot see the student, he can only hear him). Each wrong answer brings a higher shock level. The shock levels range from a few volts up to a deadly 450 volts.

Milgram expected less than 1% of the people brought in to be teachers to actually go all the way to the end and administer 450 volts. The actual % that went to the end was 65%! There were quite a few people that questioned going so far but were told to keep going. They were told that they wouldn't be held responsible for their actions. That it wouldn't be their fault. A quote that this Milgram made after the experiment was "If you want to see the face of evil, look in the mirror."

So, can *objects* actually be evil? Money, TV, jewelry, tattoos, piercings, movies, music, (yeah, I picked things that are vilified in the Christian community... damn, I'm going to hell {NOT}... I like to watch TV & movies, I listen to metal music, I have tattoos and piercings... damn... LOL) etc... I DON'T think so. I really believe we project onto those things our fears and issues and let them take control over our lives.

We choose to make them evil and give them power over our lives, they are not evil in and of themselves.

TV, Limits, and Unschooling

There's been a huge discussion happening on the Always Learning group about TV. I'm not going to post everything that has been written but pretty much the gist of the conversation is that there is one unschooling mom who has made the choice not to have a TV in her house because she herself has a problem with spending too much time watching it. Her concern is, is she really limiting her daughter's world by not having one. Is it really an unschooling "no-no" not to have a TV in her home.

Joyce Fetteroll gives a wonderful response to that question (posted below).

On Aug 10, 2006, at 4:13 PM, (anonymous) wrote:

> my question is: Is is really such an "unschooling no-no" to have a home without a TV? <

I think a better question is "Am I expanding or contracting my child's world by what I'm doing?"

It's not that kids can't learn without TV. Kids have been learning ever since their only toys were sticks and rocks!

There are unschoolers who live beyond the range of decent TV reception. There's a whole world of options that aren't TV. And we can talk about options for bringing the world to kids when broadcast isn't available.

But, when TV is available, when *parents* make the conscious choice not to bring it into their homes, it is the same as deciding not to use books or not to use the internet or not to go to plays. It's deliberately cutting off a resource.

And a secondary effect is that *when parents think TV is bad*, it's very difficult for children not to pick up that message. No matter how careful the parents are. No matter how much they insist that if the child asks for it, they'll get a TV. The child *can't* freely choose TV without knowingly choosing something she knows her parents think is bad.

Same goes for non-organic food. Other religions. Plastic. Anything the parents have decided is *bad*, that they don't for themselves want in the house, can't be freely chosen by a child.

That's not an absolute pronouncement that every parent who feels uncomfortable about TV will have children who feel uncomfortable about watching it. But the atmosphere is there, nonetheless. And it takes a lot of extra, special interaction to counteract the message the parents are silently sending.

So it isn't truthful to say "Yes, you can choose not to have TV and your child will grow up without picking up your fears and will be just as knowledgeable as those who have free access." You're creating a situation that is likely to lead to a child feeling she can't freely choose TV when she wants. Can you counteract that? It will entirely depend on your awareness and sensitivity of your daughter, your awareness of yourself impact and your ability to counteract what you're creating. It will be dependent on your personalities and your environment.

We can help you see what the world looks like from your child's point of view. We can help you create an environment of freedom. But we can't help you counteract a deliberate limiting of your child's world. That's work you'll have to do yourself because what's needed -- if it's possible -- will entirely depend on the personalities and abilities in your family.

Joyce

Pam gives this response:

On Aug 10, 2006, at 1:13 PM, (anonymous) wrote:

> I DID say that I feel TV is evil, but I ALSO qualified that by saying not "evil" in the "devil" sense, but just something bad for me, personally. <

You have to expect people will take you at your word, on a list like this one. When you said "tv is evil," I understood you didn't mean in the "devil" sense, but, instead, in the usual sense of the word meaning extremely malevolent and harmful.

As for whether or not you can unschool without a tv? Sure. But tv's are inexpensive and offer a more glorious and bountiful window to a wider world than any other resource, so to choose not to have one because you think it is "evil," is not a particularly "create-a-rich-environment" kind of unschooling parent approach.

Also, people "can" live without all kinds of things. My husband grew up with literally only one toy - he received one small toy bear as a gift and that was the ONLY toy he ever had. He played in the countryside with rocks and sticks and he had a wonderful childhood.

So, should we have decided to let our children have only one toy? Why should we decide to deprive our children, on purpose, of wonderful joy-bringing things - things we can afford?

-pam

Pig, a game of math

Thanks so much to Steph at Throwing Marshmellows for posting about Pig.

To play Pig, roll two dice, add them together and the first one to 100 wins. To make it more interesting, if you roll a 1, you get no points. If you roll double 1 you loose all of your points. The game is found in The I Hate Mathematics Book by Marilyn Burns.

Fun Stuff for Unschooling

I purchased some fun stuff from another local homeschooler today. A few of them are games (Dancer loves games so this is perfect)... a few others are trivia books which she loves... I'd have to say the coolest book is "World's Wackiest Inventions". Here's a few for example: Edible Tie Pin, Air-Cooled Rocking Chair, Eye Protectors for Chickens, Bed-Wetting Alarm, Automatic Hat-Tipper, Safety Coffin, Boomerang Bullets, etc...

I'm always looking for quirky, wacky, and fun things to do and read. Fun ways to make our lives fuller and more joyful, thus furthering our experiences and learning.

Here's all that I got:

Books:

• World's Wackiest Inventions
• 30 Wild and Wonderful Math Stories Grades 4-8 by Dan Greenberg
• Math-A-Magic: Number Tricks for Magicians by Laurence B. White
• Storms & Blizzards: The Natural Disaster Series by Mary Micallef

Games:

• 'SMATH: The Game that Makes Math Fun (Board Game)
• SET: The Family Game of Visual Perception (Card Game)

So, You're Still Spanking Your Kids?...

Spanking is all to prevalent in the Christian community (violence when we should be spreading love... especially to our own children)... I really want you to pray, open your hearts and minds to change, and then read Amanda's blog and her wonderful explanation to why we shouldn't spank our kids. There are three posts at this link, please read them all. :)

More on spanking and other punishment

The Celebration

The Celebration is the local annual street festival. There are multiple large stages for music and shows and other smaller stages for other festivities. There is a carnival ride area and lots of booths with people selling stuff, etc...

I'm not a people person (I can't stand being in large crowds) so I usually only head down there when there's some music act that I really want to see. I really want to see the ABBA tribute band called ABBA Gold... I've heard they're from Canada. But they would be playing today and I have to work this evening. Yes, I LOVE ABBA... I always have!

Dancer went down to the carnival rides with my dad last night (she LOVES the rides! they make me sick {except roller coasters }... she's always taking advantage of carnival rides in the area and takes quite a few trips to Six Flags St. Louis during year). She had a good time last night playing games with my dad (she brought home quite a few prizes) and riding rides (uh, he doesn't ride them either... I obviously got the problem with spinning rides from him).

She took off this morning with my mom to go watch the parade and take in some of the festivities this morning. From the sounds of their plans, it seems like they are going to try and fit in some swim time at my uncle's pool this afternoon. Later this evening they are going to help set up a pool for a friend of my mom's. So she has a long day ahead of her... she'll probably crash out like she did last night.

My Daughter hit Double Digits!

I can't believe Dancer is 10!  OMG!  At her birthday party my mom and I got talking about the day she was born and the crazy dash to the hospital.  Here's the story:

I worked that morning at Jo-Ann Fabrics (it was scheduled to be my last day at work before maternity leave... who knew I would actually have her that day!)... I worked 9 to 1 that day.  I felt like crap all morning... so I knew something was going on (but I didn't figure it would be so fast!).  So I left work at 1pm and headed home... which was about a 30 minute drive... on the way I started feeling what to me seemed like really bad gas pain (you know... the kind you get when you need to fart but can't... LOL).  I stopped at the local gas station... so funny, because the girls inside at the counter could tell I wasn't feeling good... they said so, and I actually said "yeah, I feel like crap".

So I get home and the pains still continue (I really didn't have a clue that they were really labor pains... with all the stories I'd ever heard about what they feel like no-one ever said they felt like gas), so I decide to call a friend and ask her to time them.  She does and was like... "um, I think you need to get to the hospital"... holly crap!  are you kidding me!  No way in the world did I EVER think that a first pregnancy would end up with me starting labor pains and then needing to go the hospital so quickly.

So, I call my mom (who lives back in town 30 minutes away!)... and she's like "do I have time to change my clothes"... I'm still thinking, sure, we've got plenty of time.  So by the time my mom actually gets to where I am... the labor have me down on the floor rocking back and forth to help ease the pain (back labor sucks!)... and in between contractions I'm trying to pack my bag for the hospital...LOL!  I call my BF (who is now my husband) and tell him that we're heading to the hospital and he needs to get there (his boss ends up driving him because I think I was supposed to pick him up that day).

So we're heading to the hospital and I'm having to lay the front seat down and get on my hands and knees leaning into the back seat (remember, I had back labor and couldn't sit without it being extremely painful)... I'm yelling at my mom to hurry... LOL.  We pull up at the entrance (and Dodger is already there)... so we're filling out forms on the way up in the elevator (they made me sit in the darn wheelchair... I was so pissed because it hurt so bad to sit).  We get up there and I'm dilated to 8 cm!  I was only at the hospital an hour before she was born.  Crazy!  I start labor pains at 1pm and have her at 4:12pm.  No time for an epidural... just a bit of pain meds in my IV.  It's so crazy that I just laugh everytime I think about it.

I was so scared about being a mom... but she hasn't left my side since (uh, yeah, we were co-sleepers and I breastfed... I AM CRUNCHY AND PROUD OF IT!)... and now with homeschooling/unschooling we're closer than ever.  :)  Attachment parenting is SO awesome!

On Hiatus

I've been back home for about a week and a half now.  I've felt very convicted of how much time I was spending online.  So I went no mail on two yahoo groups that I really love but have a high volume of emails everyday and I'm taking a break from the blog for a bit.

I've been cleaning and reorganizing (and decluttering) since I've been back home.  We are going to be painting the exterior of our house next weekend while Dancer is at Six Flags with my mom.

Oh, I almost forgot.  I got Jerico's CD!  and it is awesome!  Koorisa's voice is like butter... it oozes all over and it's so strong.  Max's voice is so raw.  Seriously, it's acoustic like I've rarely heard before.  It's so raw and emotional and dark.  Usually when you think of acoustic music you think more of folky stuff... and this is totally NOT.

Update:  Koorisa is now fronting for The Furrow and Max is now Samantha.

Too Much Work to Be Tired

So, yeah, I've been up all night at work.  I haven't been to bed yet and it's 11am.  Dancer and I are heading to Tampa FL tomorrow for 2 weeks of relaxation!  I'm doing laundry and packing and all that goes into getting ready to take a trip.

My dad is getting married this weekend on the beach, Fort Desoto, I believe.  He and his wife-to-be are both from here in IL but she wants to get married on the beach and we have family down there anyway... to it's a good fit.

They are heading off to Puerto Villarta, Mexico for their honeymoon.  My grandpa has a condo down there.  I'd love to go stay there before my grandpa kicks the bucket.  Maybe it's in the cards for Dodger and I in the near future.

I've got lots of errands to run before this afternoon.  Tying up loose ends.  All the bills are paid 'till the end of the month... thank goodness for online bill pay!

“Rebellious Children?” by Sharon Hockenbury

Sharon is a fellow unschooler and posted this during a discussion on our unschooling yahoo group. **Reprinted here with permission.**

I have thought about "rebellious children" a lot in my own family. I have 9 children. The oldest is 24, the youngest is 3. The ones remaining at home are almost 17, 14, 12, 9, 7, 3. I just want to share some "ramblings" with you and use what you can. First of all, if you are like me, you have read a lot and HOPED for all that you perceive that God would have for your family. In other words, you have expectations. When our children begin to "come into their own" and they fall short of our expectations, they sense our "conditional love". Our body language, our comments and our reactions show our disappointment. I believe this causes even a greater division. One of the things that I have been working on is NOT reacting to their actions, but responding slowly allowing the Holy Spirit time to invoke wisdom in my answer. To love unconditionally is a HUGE challenge. It is so easy when the baby is snuggled to your breast or a smiling toddler greets your sleepy eyes in the morning. It is definitely more challenging when the eyes of the teen glare with resentment and disdain. I see homeschoolers "bail" so to speak. No judgement intended here, but we have a hard time persevering. The teenager gets mouthy, it's not the "yes mom" child any more and we send them back to school, or begin to clamp down in fear. I've seen children pulled out, put back in. The message is: "I'll deal with you as long as it is easy. Cause me trouble and I am bailing.". They need to know, come hell or high water, you are going to stick with what God has called you do . I've had said to my children more than once. "I love you, all that I do is motivated by love and I am not going to bail on what God wants me to do. NO matter how difficult it is, I am in this for the long haul." As far as the younger children go, if they see you acting in righteousness, the light will overshadow the darkness. I talk to my younger children about what they see and what they think. I then keep referring back to the Bible to show them the truth.

Be proactive and not reactive. My daughter's first "love" was a non-christian druggy. She thought she could save him. Thank God she did not fall into sin with him. It was my REACTION to forbid her to see him. Instead, we told her he was welcome in our home anytime. We loved him, and shared the Gospel. We walked through the rough waters. It was not always pleasant, but the night she finally broke off the relationship on her own accord, we sat and cried in each others arms until dawn. In my idealistic dreams, her first should have been her husband and her first kiss on her wedding day, I am not God and He dreams bigger for my daughter than I do. She is married now to an incredible Christian man! She tells me the greatest gift I gave her was a strong sense of self and confidence.

My mom gave me this advice, which I think is very good. Whenever we tell the teen child that something is "right" or "wrong", in the Bible or against the Bible, they will usually get their feathers ruffled. We know it is the flesh, but their immaturity and lack of wisdom will not let them see this. My wording things in a way that minimizes the opportunity for argument helps. Try saying, "I am not comfortable or at peace with such and such." Bottom line, it is your home and how you "feel" in it IS important. We over come by the blood of the Lamb and the POWER OF OUR TESTIMONY. They may disagree with our ideals, but our testimony is ours! Another thing I am FINALLY learning is not to take their insults personally. To respond, "I am sorry you feel that way." and call it a day. I am not a bad mom because my children have bad attitudes. I am in the process also. I wish I could have been perfected when the Lord decided to make me a parent, but obviously that is not the case. But one person's sin or faults is NEVER license for another to sin. Keep seeking the Lord in faith. Cry out for wisdom and for unconditional love to be poured out in your heart. I can look on others with love knowing they are in sin, yet find my self being far to conditional with my own less than perfect children. I said to my oldest son one day. "You know, when I just step back and objectively look at who you are and what you are doing, I really like you. You are a great young man." It made him beam. I began to speak life to him. How great he is right NOW! . I quite drowning him in religious expectation and started to really believe that God has a plan for him and a process. I began to see that the tatoos and the chewing tabacco, ( no judgement on tatoos, just another "expectation" I had that was definitely challenged), were not the measure of who he is or will what he will be when God is done with him. Mind you, he is almost 24 and just got back from Iraq. He is incredibly confident in who he is and has a great world view. He is born again and does love us. He can communicate with us. We do not always agree, but I know he loves us. My daughter is 22.

Again, if I step back and look from outside my legalistic mother eyes, my children are great people.! So. the beat goes on!!! God is faithful. Who HE is IS , IS important!! Keep seeking Him with your whole heart and learn to rest in HIS provision. Ask for wisdom, expect to hear from God and He will be there to give you all you need. In the battle with you!

Thanks, Sharon, for letting me post this here. I love the journey that I'm on with my daughter. I am so glad that the Lord has brought me out of legalism so soon in my parenting and in my life. I have a tendency to be very passionate about letting go of the self-imposed rules and living in the freedom that we received when Jesus Christ died on the cross for us so long ago. Sometimes my passion boils over in a way that doesn't seem so positive (though that is certainly not my intention)... I am working on extending that grace that I've received to others. Usually it's other Christians that I have a problem with because I have a tough time with what Christianity has become.

I hope that your post can help someone else see a different POV... to make the home the cushion instead of the battleground.

Just For Fun: Short Story

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few
words as possible. The instructions were:

The short story must contain the following three things;
(1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3) Mystery.

There was only one A+ paper in the entire class, it is shown below.

Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?

Why are Child Rapists going FREE?

So I'm here watching Oprah (as of late she's really been annoying me but I knew she had a predator show on today, so I'm watching)... and some of the men featured on her child predator list today have abused and raped children and young girls AND ONLY SPENT A SMALL AMOUNT OF TIME BEHIND BARS!!!! WHY ARE CHILD PREDATORS NOT BEING PUT AWAY FOR A LONG LONG TIME!

This brings me to the justice system in this country... there was just something in the news about 6 months ago of a Judge in one of the northern states that put a child rapist behind bars for only 3 YEARS... 3 YEARS! It's sick! Those kind of punishments make me think that the men in robes have some of their own sick perversions to hide!

What is it going to take to protect our children from these sick people? I wish I had the answers... but for now, I just needed to rant about it instead of internalizing it.

Unschooling Today... and Yesterday :)

Yesterday, while driving to church, Dancer starts talking about all of the ASL (American Sign Language) signs that she knows.  We talked about it a little and I told her that I'd be happy to find a chart of signs on the net... she asked if we could go to the library to get a book about it!  Dancer wants a book!  From the library!  She's been so anti-book for so long because she doesn't think she's a good reader (thanks public school system!)  I'm excited for her to follow an interest that I didn't even know she had.

Today she went to a fishing clinic for 4H.  And she fished the longest of all the kids there.  She really enjoyed herself.  The instructor must have really enjoyed showing her more details about fishing because he stayed almost 45 minutes later than he was scheduled to.

She's been busy reorganizing her room (moving furniture and decorative items).  And now she's painting and decorative stamping  a small table of hers.  She's been into all my arts and crafts stuff (since I told her she has free access to whatever she wants to use) and keeping busy.  She won't let me see it yet until it dries.

She's just become so fun to be around.

Is homosexuality really a sin?

After the big "to do" went on about my post about the Christian fear of the homosexual (and if you were offended, I apologize only for that, there was certainly no personal attack intended)... I had some good discussion with a very close relative of mine (who is gay) and some other Christian unschoolers who question whether or not homosexuality is really a sin. After really thinking about it... I decided to look into it further. Like many things in the Bible... many things get taken out of context... or warped to further someone's view. I can't say one way or the other right now but the more I read... the more I'm convinced that a loving homosexual relationship is not a sin.

I have a ton more reading to do on this but so far I have come to these two websites on the issue:

A Letter to Louise: A Biblical Affirmation of Homosexuality

Homosexuality: Not a Sin, Not a Sickness; What the Bible Does and Does Not Say

Is Homosexuality a Sin?

Please take the time to really read these through... the fact that I'd like to point out is that Jesus never said anything about homosexuality.

Maybe, just maybe, it's time for your paradigm to do some shifting on this issue!

Update: on Sean Paddock... Beating Victim of Pearl Instructed Mother

Autopsy: Blankets were to keep boy in bed

This horrific case of child abuse was one of the reasons I left HomeSchoolBlogger.com and don't link to or support anything that they have to do with including TOS (The Old Schoolhouse) Magazine and HomeSteadblogger.com.

You can read more about this issue and the original article about Sean Paddock and Gina Suarez's (publisher of TOS and homeschoolblogger) support of the Pearl's Baby Beating and Parenting Instruction in my post: Why I Left HomeschoolBlogger.

Oh, Happy Day!

The craziness of last week is over!!!! The dance concert (feat. The Wizard of Oz) went great! Dancer was so adorable. I'll post some pictures as soon as I get them loaded.

She also made me a cute Mother's Day card which I took pictures of. She is such a doll, and we have developed such a great relationship since she's been home and even more so since our unschooling lifestyle has progressed.

It's sad for me to see other moms and daughters who don't have that relationship with each other... because of lack of respect and boundaries. I see it all around me and it makes me even more aware of my own relationship with her and how much I cherish it. I never had that kind of relationship with my own mother, so I have consciously made the changes in my life that need to be made so that my daughter and I do have a close relationship.

Crazy Week

What a crazy week it's been around here... I'm so ready for it to be over!

First of all I've worked 4 days this week... that's a rare occasion, believe me.  Those overnight hours really take it out of me.  On top of that, it's production week for the spring dance concert.  (Right now, I'm so glad that I dropped out of ballet for the time being)... and we've been at the studio almost every night this week.

Today in the midst of it all and right in the middle of the day... I've got to head out for a half hours drive to go to my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party.  I love them, but I don't like them much.  They have never accepted me for who I am, so I don't really care to be around that side of my family that much.

I haven't had time to exercise because by the time I get up from sleeping there's just enough time to do a few things around the house and then we've got to head out to the dance stuff.

This all ends Sunday, thank God... I hate it when my routine (as relaxed as it is around here) gets out of whack.

Unschooling Today

Today was homeschool bowling day :)  It's the last scheduled bowling day for the school year (whatever that is... it doesn't apply to us anymore... yeah).  The kids had a good time!  The black lights and disco balls were on with the lights turned down... makes it a lot cooler to go bowling in that environment.  I had a great time talking to Jenn L and Lisa E.  It's so nice to have met two homeschoolers who are more my speed... similar interests in natural health, relaxed homeschooling, and gentle child rearing.  I still have yet to meet their unschooling friend but I hope to in the not so distant future.

Rated R for not Really

A few days ago while letting my Dancer play on the computer a bit the movie "My Cousin Vinny" came on. I noticed it was rated R. I couldn't in my head picture why it would be so... there's no violence, no gore, no nudity or sex. Then within the first 30 minutes I realized why, the language. I've heard people in the grocery store talk the same way and we watch a lot of shows on Comedy Central, so the language doesn't usually bother me... it's not necessary but it doesn't bother me when seeing it on TV. IRL, I'd rather hear people use real-thought out-yes I do have a brain-language instead of the potty mouths I hear... but hey, I'm no saint! I do use that language ESO when I'm upset... I don't make it a regular part of my vocabulary.

Anyhow, I got off the subject. About 30 minutes into the show, Dancer came over and laid down with me, and I told her that there was bad language in it but that she could watch it if she wanted to. She's like, "Mom, like I would ever say those words." She wasn't even interested in watching it, actually she took over the TV and changed it to some cartoons or the nick game shows that she likes watching.

All along, the ladies on the unschooling yahoo groups that I'm a part of have been saying that our young ones won't be interested in watching those adult movies. We get all kinds of concerns right and left coming from those who are just starting out in radical unschooling. I do keep the V-chip turned on on the TV in her room, just so I don't have to worry about what she might be exposed to when we (Dodger or I) are not hanging around and watching things with her. But there have been some things that we've all watched together and been able to discuss things that she may not understand with her.

Once again, the issue of trusting our children comes into play...

Fear of the Homosexual

We were at 4H earlier this afternoon and learned about rockets… pretty cool stuff. Anyhow, while we’re outside waiting for the rockets to be set up for launch a few of the tweenagers were talking and one of the girls mentioned that blank, blank, and blank were gay. A young man that she was talking to went “ewww, where are you going and you need to stop going there.” It was mentioned that it was at *** (a local community college, and the men that were mentioned as being gay are part of the dance program there). I stepped in and said, “It’s not contagious, they can’t touch you and you’ll become gay. They aren’t bad people for being gay.” The young lady then mentioned that two of them had adopted and another young lady that was part of the conversation went… “Ewww”.

I was horrified! Just sick! The young lady who was doing most of the talking never made any negative comments about them, but the other two did. This group is made up of all homeschoolers and this view of homosexuals is LEARNED behavior. God loves homosexuals just as much as he loves anyone else! Homosexuality is a sin (EDIT: I NO LONGER THINK THIS!) and so is lying, cheating, stealing, killing, gluttony, etc… Where did they lose their humanity? They are just like heterosexuals… they love, feel pain, breathe, bleed, grow old, etc…

Really, why are these God fearing parents teaching their kids to hate? Why is there such a fear of homosexuals? I don’t get it! I really don’t!

God or the Girl

There's a new "reality" show on A&E called God or the Girl.  I was a bit skeptical about how God was going to be portrayed in the show but as it turns out I really think the show is wonderful.  There are 4 young men who are struggling with the decision to go into the seminary to become a Roman Catholic priest.

I am not Catholic, I am a New Testament Christian, but I still am enjoying the show and seeing the struggle these young men are having with deciding just where God is leading them in their lives.  And that is a common thread between us... seeking God's wisdom and purpose in our lives.

I just wanted to post on it because I have seen a few things here and there about some people not being happy with this new show, though I couldn't say if their opinions were made before the show even started.  I find the show very respectful and very thought provoking.  Would I carry an 80 pound cross 20 miles for wisdom?

Journey to the Cross

For the past two years some active people in our church have set up Journey to the Cross on Good Friday. It is an interactive meditation of the events of Jesus' final days and His resurrection. There are 13 stations... each one has a focus on your walk with the Lord and his walk to the Cross where he laid down his life so that we could have eternal life with his father in Heaven.

I can't tell you how much this meditation does for me. I am so thankful to the few that put this together and set it up every year. You know, we can get so wrapped up in our own "stuff" and easily forget the price that was paid for us. Words just can't explain how wonderful this program is and what a blessing it is. It must be experienced to really know how powerful it is.

If you're local to me, I hope that next year you'll want to come and have this experience with the Lord and maybe even take this idea back to your House of Worship and be able to touch even more people.

eBay Rocks!

I've been selling off my textbooks that I either bought or collected in one way or another before we started our unschooling journey. So far most all of them have sold! Yeah! I've been listing other items, too, but so far mostly curriculum (because it's easier to stick the books on my scanner and edit the pictures than to have to use the digital camera and have to upload and edit... blah, blah, blah).

All of this is freeing up space for library books and craft items. And getting the clutter out of my house, which tends to overtake like weeds.

There's a link over in my side bar for my ebay items... take a look!

Why NOT Limits and Rules

There's a good discussion going on on one of the unschooling yahoo groups about limits and rules... here is a wonderful post by Joyce Fetteroll about how arbitrary rules really hinder our children's emotional growth.

In response to "But I have a different take on it, especially for young children. I view them (rules and limits) as a safety box, if you will." Joyce wrote:

You *can* view limits and safety that way. But it won't help you see
how helping kids get what they want -- like not get hit by a car, not
getting shocked by a knife put in an outlet-- is different than
putting a fence around them because of what you fear will happen.

Limits say "I don't trust you. You're not competent enough." For many
kids that's a challenge! They want to test themselves even against
things they wouldn't want to try. When the world is divided between
what you can and can't do, it's natural to want to test yourself on
what others believe you aren't capable of handling. But when the
world is divided between what you enjoy and what you don't enjoy,
there isn't a reason to do the things you don't enjoy.

Life is risky. But we can be there with them to keep them from
imminent death, to help them figure out situations as they arise.
That's how people learn :-)

Principles work a lot better. If the principle is safety and a child
knows mom will help them do what they want, there isn't a reason to
try to sneak to do something risky. When they're younger, of course,
we can't depend on them understanding the consequences of every
choice. Our presence is what's needed then, not rules and limits as a
subsitute for our presence.

I love that response. I see it all around me with kids. I see the light in their eyes slowly fade as parents bind them up with ridiculous rules and regulations. I see them either become robots and follow blindly or rebel and do everything they can to break free (and this is without guidance mind you). I have friends who do this to there own kids and it breaks my heart. I'm probably known as the "bad mommy" but I've always found arbitrary rules ridiculous. Why the double standard people? Why is it ok for you to eat your desert before dinner but not your kids? Why is it ok for you to stay up late to see that movie that you've been dying to see but not your kids? Because you're adults? Fiddlesticks! That's ridiculous and you know it.

Oh, the lies...

So there's a discussion going on (on one of the yahoo groups I'm a member of) about the influences of the media on our girls self-image...  but the thing is, that what we see is not real.  Here an example of those lies that we view everyday...



Even those "stars" that are so idolized in the media don't really look like that... they are made up with make-up, clothing that camouflages, they have hair stylists, etc... get real!  It's all fiction!  I'll try and find some pictures of what these stars look like without all that done to them... they look just like the rest of us... or worse a lot of the time because many of them abuse their bodies because they know that if you pay enough money, you can look flawless.

Today's Fun

We slept in (as usual) and then headed out to my Dad's to help him clean and pack stuff. He's getting married in June and he's been getting his house ready to put on the market. So we headed out to help him with some clean-up. We're heading back there on Saturday afternoon to do some more. It's the least I can do for him... he's always helping me out in one way or another.

My dad is the best ever.

Hope in the Darkness

My small Bible study group ended up going to a program hosted by a little church (Summit Avenue Baptist Church) just down the road from where I live. One lady in my group is the mother of the part-time pastor at that church.

The program was called Hope in the Darkness. A group of local Christians from different churches put together the group to spread the hope that the Lord brings to each one of us as we walk through the valleys that life can bring to our lives. It was a wonderful program.

Sue B., the lady who is facilitating our homeschool book group, and her daughter are part of the production. As well as, Linda L., who is the mom of Dancer's dance teacher and who is always highly involved in the Nutcracker in the fall.

There were times when it took all I had to not break down into red-eyed, nose-running, sobs. It's a beautiful thing to have the Lord's hope and love spread in such a wonderfully touching and proactive way.

Wildflower Hike

Dancer and I went on a nature hike yesterday, with Sarah, her kids and her mom, through some of the trails at Fort Daniel Conservation Area which was about 5 minutes away from my friend's place.  It was so nice to be out in the spring weather and see the early wildflowers coming up.  We learned about the names and some of the uses of the plants.  We saw lots of deer tracks along with the occasional racoon track and even deer hair where you could see a deer had laid down on the trail.  The kids had fun learning about the plants and flowers and eventually running ahead of us like they like to do.  We let them play on the playground, when the hike was over, to enjoy more of the afternoon.  We had to cut the afternoon short at about 4:30 because a few of us had small group Bible study to get to.  We all had a lot of fun and we surprised that only one other family with really young kids showed up (who cut their walk short because the little ones were so young).

There really is so much to do and get involved with in our area.  I try to let everyone I know where to look for things to do and how to get involved.  I think we're going to volunteer to help with the conservation district.  It will be a good way to learn about the plants and animals in the area along with the problems and issues in the natural environments and at the same time be involved in helping others and our earth.

They finally deleted my blog...

I was wanting to xfer some of my links from my "old" blog over to here but I see that they've finally deleted my blog from there. And I didn't even have to ask them to do it.

Now there's no association between myself and those that support beating children and staying with abusive (and sexually abusive) spouses.

Book Club

Dancer and I joined a homeschool book club through the library. We're reading the book together... it's The Captain's Dog by Roland Smith. I've read most of it out-loud to her, she still has doubts about her reading ability (which I suspect is a result of Public School and the Accelerated Reading Program). We had a bit of catching up to do in the reading Wednesday before the talk on Thursday. Dodger read a bit of it to her that night after I left for work and she finished up on her own (yeah for her!) Thursday morning before the talk.

I caught up on the parts I hadn't read over the last few days. It's such a great book and I'm so glad that we're involved in the book club. We would have never picked up the book if it weren't for the club.

The library also has other book talks for kids as well as adults. There's one I'd love to sit in on but it's at the same time that our homeschool book club meets next. That talk is about Nickel and Dimed in America by Barbara Ehrenreich. Which I do have a copy of but just haven't read yet.

Hitting Is Not Patient by Susan Lawrence

Hitting is not patient; hitting is not kind;

hitting is arrogant and rude and adults who hit children are insisting on their own way.

Adults who hit children are irritable and resentful;

they punish what they perceive as wrongdoing,

instead of rejoicing in the truthful nature of children.

Adults who hit children cannot bear, or believe in, or find hope in,

or endure the normal behavior of children.

Hitting should end.

http://www.parentinginjesusfootsteps.org/lawrence-article-2.html

My Own Education

I've pulled out the book work again (long overdue) and am back hitting the books again. I'm in the process of getting my N.D. (Doctor of Naturopathy) and my M.H. (Master Herbalist) from Trinity School of Natural Health.

I'm still trying to decide what to do my dissertation on. Though I am able to side-track the dissertation by getting my CNHP certification. But still, that's no easy feat.

I'm behind schedule to finish on time. So I need to ask for an extension and I pray that they gracefully extend me one.

Why I Left HomeschoolBlogger.com

Do any of you blog on the homeschool blogger? Some homeschoolers are boycotting them because they have banner ads for the The Old Schoolhouse Magazine (which runs full page ads for the Pearl's lecture series and books contained within), the Pearl's advocate "training" children by beating them with plumbing supplies because they're cheap and won't leave bruises.  (HomeschoolBlogger.com and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine are both interlinked in their ownership!  Gina Suarez.)
Here's a mothering.com discussion about it: www.mothering.com

A bit about the owner of homeschoolblogger defending the Pearls:
In an article published today about a child abuse case in NC, Gina Suarez, publisher of Homeschoolblogger.com, is quoted defending the use of plumbing supply lines to beat your child. "[The Pearls] are talking about something that would fit in a purse," Suarez said. "The only way you can kill a child with that is by shoving it down his throat." www.newsobserver.com

Here's an article where the Pearls (the dad on this page) tell women to stay with husbands even if they beat them, beat the kids, or molest the kids. If he won't stop molesting the kids you can have him arrested and testify against him but you should be waiting "with open arms" for him when he gets out. UGH. www.nogreaterjoy.org

Here is some more discussions on the issue: www.tulipgirl.com

Why Your Free Blog Host Matters odonnellweb.com.

A Bad Day

I was obviously having a really bad time of it on the last post. I've found there's a fine line between feeling my feelings and feeling sorry for myself. I've always been a bit of a pessimist... but enough is enough.

It's time to follow my bliss and find joy. Finding joy has been the biggest struggle of my life. I have such a tendency to internalize things... even those things that don't directly affect me. But I had a huge wake up call yesterday... a lady from a few of the yahoo groups I'm involved in lost her daughter early Friday morning from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It came on very suddenly in January... started with nosebleeds and a pulled tooth that took 6 hours to stop bleeding. This woman lost her husband a few years ago from a brain tumor. This little girl, Hannah, was the same age as my daughter, 9-1/2.

I lost my focus somewhere along the way. Lost my rose colored glasses. Lost my perspective to see the world from the positive and to see others through God's eyes. I've been so focused on the real or perceived limitations that other's have put on me... always feeling that I don't measure up and am always behind.

I was upset when my Dodger put a bump in the road on my ride to unschooling. Yet, here I am, finding a beautiful way to a happy medium. Yeah, my life isn't always pretty... but it's mine to live and to live it fully.

Have you seen that commercial where all the women are out playing like they were kids... where is that place? I want to live there... I came across this saying by Ghandi earlier... "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Sometimes it's a lonely way to live but doing the Lord's work and being the change in the world will have its rewards in the end.

Sarah and I took over the women's ministry at our church today. We've made it a ministry for all females from young girls to older women. We're starting small with some fun get together's every month (which all of you locally are SO WELCOME to come). We're having a movie night in March... and watching 7 Brides for 7 Brothers. Popcorn, candy, drinks, and child-care provided. I'll post more details later.

So my pity party is about over and it's time to get to work on my goals and dreams. I can't say that I won't struggle with the selfishness and self-loathing... I know I will. But like I've told my good friend, the Lord must have something really special in place for me to have to deal so internally with all of the cr@p that life flings around.

The only thing left in my life that I wish would change... is my job situation. I wish that I could find the right thing to do from home. The overnight hours work for me and allow me way more free time than before (it allows me to homeschool) but those hours aren't normal and they are hard on the body.

ATCs and Found Art

Ok, so most of my artistic friends probably already know about ATCs but I'm here to share if you don't.

ATCs (Artist Trading Cards) are little cards of artwork that you trade, not sell. Here's a great website explaining a bit more... http://www.atcsforall.com/

So, I'm thinking how fun this would be for both myself and for Dancer. I'm wondering how I could set up our own little trading group among the homeschoolers around here and maybe with all my artsy friends (you know who you all are!)

There's even a movement of Found Art. Art that you leave at places for others to find and take home. If you can find me a website (I haven't looked yet) about them, I'll gladly post it here. I don't think that there's the size rule with Found Art like there is with ATCs.

Homeschooling is awesome! This is the most free I've been in a long time. Getting to know who my daughter is has been awesome. Bet you didn't know that we have a future interior designer or flipper among us... she loves HGTV and has been going nuts in her room moving things around and redecorating. I keep my mouth shut... because it's her room and she can do whatever the heck she wants to in there (she can even paint on the walls if she wants).