I Love Tennis

Did I mention that I Love Tennis!  I don't play but I've always loved watching it.  The US Open started today, it's the last professional tournament for one of the best men's players of all time, Andre Agassi.  He won tonight's match.  He'll play again in 2 days.

It was really cool to see my most favorite female player, Stephi Graf, she's married to Andre so they showed her quite a bit during the match.

So, now's the time to take up at least watching the game... if only to say that you got to see Agassi's last match.

LIFE's Most Recent Activities

Update since Friday:

Saturday Dancer went for a day of fun with her granny and grandpa.  I was scheduled to work Saturday night, so I didn't go, and my mom and I don't really get along much so I don't like to just "hang out" with her.  They all went to the Weldon Homecoming.  They have games, a car show, and other activities.  My step-dad entered his GTO in the car show.  I have family that lives around there so they met up with some of them there.

Sunday after church (um, yeah, I didn't go again) there was an AWANA meeting we attended.  I am going to be taking over running the office next year.  And then we (Dancer and I) went to Rock Springs again with Sarah and her 3 kids.  The kids learned about and played games that the Pioneer children would have played in our area at the time.  My friend and I watched the birds at the watching window and talked.  A little deer came walking up while we were watching and took a drink out of the bird bath and then walked off.  It was so cool, I've never been that close to a deer before.

After the kids were done we went on a hike through the pine tree forest and then along some of the trails.  I loved being out in nature.  I was still very sore from working out and ballet class on Friday but didn't mind working up a sweat on the trails.  There's something way more enjoyable about hiking the trails.  You're also not walking on pavement so the ground gives more and it's not so rough on the knees.  Needless to say, I can't wait until our hike next Sunday afternoon.

Today (Monday) Dancer went out to my uncle's pool with her grandpa A.  He took the day off from work and wanted to spend some time with her.  I exercised earlier and have just been hanging out by myself.  I got an exercise calendar set up and checked in with some old friends on eDiets.

Unschooling Poem

This was written on a mural at the Children's Museum.  I thought it very fitting.

I tried to teach my child with books;

He gave me only puzzled looks.

I teach my child with words;

They passed him by often unheard.

Despairingly, I turned aside;

"How shall I teach this child?" I cried.

Into my hand he put the keys;

"COME," he said, "PLAY WITH ME!"

When was the last time you actually just PLAYED with your children?

Sleep at Last!

It is SOOOOOOO awesome to finally get the 9 hours of sleep that my body has needed since I was a teen.  Waking up after 9 hours is like clockwork... it just happens and is my body's natural schedule.  I haven't had that kind-of sleep in 3 years since I worked overnight for the past 3 years.  I am totally loving the new hours at work!  And I actually am working more hours now that we don't do the ad set overnight anymore... which means a bigger paycheck!  WooHoo!

What we've done the past few days:

Thursday we went to the zoo (free day again!) and spent time really looking at the animals.  I bought Dancer a zoo key last week when we were there, so we got to listen to some info about the animals as we watched them.  Dancer loves the wolves and the cheetahs.  We'll certainly head back there next Thursday... and every Thursday until the zoo closes in October.

Dancer had her first Tap and Jazz class for the year last night (Thursday).  She said she had a great time.  She really loves that class, especially the jazz, because it's way more exciting than ballet.  I've explained to her that ballet will get fun in a few years when she's in the more advanced classes.  Right now she's building the foundation for all that will come.  I told her you can't build a house from the top down... you have to lay the foundation so the house will be stable and grounded.  Dance is like that, too.

I just finished my workout... The Firm body sculpting system.  Now that I can be on a normal schedule, I actually have time and energy to exercise.  I can't wait to see my body change and actually recognize the face I see in the mirror.  Every-so-often I can see my skinny former self when I look in the mirror... now, I'm working towards seeing it everyday.  :)

We are heading to the Children's Museum here in a bit.  We need to put that membership to use.  :)  I have ballet class tonight (yes, I take ballet, too... I started about 6 years ago)... I brought the idea up to my ballet instructor to have an intermediate/advanced ballet class just for adults... and it happened!  It was getting way to weird to be in class with all the tweens and young teens.  And she can spend too much time harping on them because they have a tendency to get lazy with their arms and legs.  I can't wait to be in class again with just adults.

So I'm out-a-here.  :)  I sure do love the life I'm building!

How to Make Unschooling Work

How did I make unschooling work in my family?  I let go!  I let go of all of the old tapes running through my head of how things are *supposed* to be and just let them be what they are.  I started to change in myself what could be changed... what I felt I should change... what needed to grow.  I stopped trying to micro-manage my family.  I stopped trying to change them.

I looked at the beauty in the world around me... knowing that there are still some thorns and to watch where I step.  I choose everyday to look at the world through different lenses... different lenses than most people wear.  I choose to trust... my daughter, my husband, myself... I choose to trust the process that learning is organic and that we will get what we need when we need it.  I choose to trust my creator and live to bring peace, love, and joy to the world around me.  I choose to be proactive not reactive to my world.  I choose to reply to people with love and not anger.

Dodger still struggles a bit with letting go of the control... so I gently remind him to trust our daughter and to be there for her and talk to her about her world.  Not to control her world for her.

I look to other unschoolers who have *been-there-done-that* and take their example and apply it to my life... knowing that they are off the beaten path but they are way more grounded and living a much more beautiful and full life than the rest of the world that I see.  I take their opinions about my hang-ups and really try to see their POV... if I took it personally (like I've seen too many people do), I wouldn't be able to *get it* and apply it to my life.

It's Been a Good Week

Sunday, we (Dancer, my friend Sarah and the kids, and I) went to Rock Springs after church (which I played hooky from again... really, our pastor bores me to tears.. every so often he'll do a series study which I like... but he usually just does verse by verse in one of the books... yuck) and had lunch. The kids played for a bit and then went to the activity about weather. They did a craft, talked about weather, and went on a small hike. Sarah and I sat in on a talk about *early newspapers in IL*. It was really interesting. The guy had copies of a newspaper from Springfield circa 1860... the layout of the paper was VERY different then you would see today. Everything sort-of ran together and ads looked like articles... and there was no order to it all... they put it where it would fit. It would have been nice to have had the time to sit and read through it all... but we had to go get the kids from their activity.

My friends son has been over most of the week. He was supposed to start school on Tuesday but the administration found mold in the carpet so they needed to have it cleaned before the kids could start. He'll be starting tomorrow. It's been good for Dancer to have someone to play with but it will be nice to get our own routine going. We certainly won't be up at 8:30am everyday.

Dancer went to my mom's company picnic yesterday evening (Tuesday). She told me about some races that she participated in and I know she went swimming and dove off the high-dive. She was wiped out... Dodger said she went to bed around 10:30. I moved her to my bed before the boy got here this morning and she slept until after 11.

Dance starts this week. Dancer is taking ballet, tap, and jazz again and adding hip hop. I am taking ballet again... it was my idea to get an intermediate/advanced adult class together, so hopefully my work schedule won't interfere with it much... I was still working overnight hours when we planned it. Dodger will be taking her to class a lot this year because of my hour change at work. He'll finally *have to* help out with something. :)

Everyday Can Be Fun

Thursday was free admission day at Scovill Zoo.  The kids (Dancer and friend) had a good time.  We'll probably get a membership in the spring (the zoo won't be open much longer... as it closes for the winter season).  Though if we volunteer, we can get a free membership.

Friday night we had a Circle of Purpose (our women and girls group at church) movie night... we had it at my friend Sarah's place (her son is the one I've been keeping for her during the day while she's at work). The kids (she has 3... 1 boy and 2 girls) played most of the evening and the *grown-ups* watched an old Jerry Lewis movie called "The Ladies Man." He was certainly the Jim Carrey of that generation.

Today (Saturday) she's off to the State Fair again with my mom and her husband. They're going to check out some of the stuff they didn't get to last week and ride some more rides. I'm going to go give blood around noon... it's the annual blood drive at church. I give blood a few times a year.

Links of Learning

The past two days have been great.  We've been busy.  I took the kids (Dancer and friend) out to Rock Springs yesterday.  They had a great time playing in the kids center, watching the birds at the *watching window*, checking out all of the live animals, and looking at all the interactive exhibits.  I bought a *Birds of Illinois* field book for Dancer and she bought herself a *make your own volcano* kit.  I picked her up some free star and planet charts.

Yesterday evening we had GHE registration.  I found some awesome books amongst all of the curriculum... about woodworking for kids, fun experiments to do at home with stuff from around the house, a cool art book that shows the basics for drawing construction, a few field books about the weather and shells of the world, and a fun brain game.  We even got a rock tumbler and an ant farm!

Dancer had a great time playing and chatting with a few friends.  They spent most of the evening in front of this huge map of the world, looking for places they had heard of (Dancer was looking for some of the places she had read about in her volcano kit and at one point asked me to help her find Puerto Vallarta, Mexico because that's where my dad went for his honeymoon in June... he brought me back this gorgeous wrap and matching poncho... well it wasn't on the map so we'll look that up here at home).

I had a great time talking to everyone that I knew and even saw some faces that I wasn't expecting to see... new homeschoolers :)

Last night we went through the books on her bookshelves and picked out all of the books she didn't want to keep (pretty much all fiction... like me, she's not a big fiction fan) to make room for new things.  We came across a book about fish, their habitat, and life cycles... so, we spent part of the evening reading that.  She LOVES nature!  I'm so thrilled, she picked up that love from my side of the family... her dad doesn't get out much.  :/

Today we went to the Children's Museum again.  I got a family membership so we can get free admission and discounts on all of the extra events they host there.  Even if we only went to the museum once a month... the membership still pays for itself in admission fees.  Dancer bought a few science kits: *build your own glow-in-the-dark solar system planetarium model* and *mystic Egyptian tomb dig & play: digging adventure and board game*.

 All of this fun is learning!  All of the living and exposure and fun just brings about more of the same.  Life is the catalyst for learning and learning brings excitement to life.  You can't fake that and you can't force it... it's as they say, organic.

Activities for the Week

Wednesday I took the kids (I'm watching Sarah's son, he's 9, for her while she's at work... he'll be in school in a few weeks, so I'll finally get to sleep in a bit... her girls have a sitter but she didn't have anyone to watch her son, and then my hours changed at work so I offered to watch him for her... for free... wouldn't you do that to help out a good friend?... anyhow, back to the point) to the Children's Museum, they had a great time playing for a few hours. I need to remember to take a book next time, so I can get my *play* time in, too.

Thursday was their last day of swim lessons (though Dancer will be taking them through the fall and winter at the Y... lessons for homeschoolers). Dancer's Butterfly stroke has gotten so much better... she was doing a few too many wave movements with her body in between strokes and this last instructor actually did her job and corrected her. Her diving has also improved tremendously. She's been doing a great job keeping her legs together when she hits the water.

Thursday night was Family Swim night at the pool, so Sarah and I took the kids and had some fun. We did some laps in the pool to stay warm (the water was quite chilly, it had rained earlier and cooled off). I had Dancer show me how to do the Breast stroke, though I didn't try it because I had my glasses on (I'm about blind without them... I sure would love to have lasik surgery done!)

Friday night, Dancer went to a "Kids Night Out" at the Children's Museum. Three hours of fun without parents. :) I had to work anyway, so it worked out to give her something to do instead of the same ol' thing at home. She's still asleep (yea, for sleeping in) so I haven't had a chance to ask her if she had a good time and talk about all that she did. Dodger said she was in a good mood when he picked her up, so we think she enjoyed herself.

I looked through some of the stuff she brought home. I can tell that they did a bit of hands-on study of Forensic Science. She's got fingerprint cards, a magnifying glass, a paper that shows fingerprint shapes, and some finger print powder (with instructions for using tape to lift the prints). I LOVE FORENSIC SCIENCE! I have watched every show ever on TV having to do with the subject. Dancer has lately been watching them with me (since I no longer have TV limits and rules). We discuss how people can do some really horrible things but how cool it is that they can be brought to justice with such microscopic evidence such as fingerprints, hair and trace fibers.

Today Dancer is headed to the state fair with my mom and step-dad. She loves the carnival rides. I'm sure she'll have a great time. I'm looking forward to a day of domestic duties of my choosing and then I work again this evening. I am so happy with the new work hours and only doing Ad set now... no more stocking for me! :)

The TV is EVIL... What?

All of this talk about the TV being "evil" (by discussion on Always Learning group) got me thinking about how people project their feelings onto inanimate objects and give those objects power over their lives. Can objects really *BE* "evil"?

I then was WATCHING TV last night and stumbled across a show that I had been looking forward to seeing called "Most Evil" (on the Discovery Channel). There is a criminologist who ranks killers on a scale from 1 to 22 (22 being the most evil and disturbed). The first show was about couple killers (Partners in Crime), where a few of them were dominate men who dominated the female and in turn the female committed acts to help her partner commit violent heinous sex crimes and murder.

They go to a point in the show where they talked about the "shock box" Stanley Milgram (Click Here For More Information!) built after the Holocaust and one of the high ranking officers said in his war crimes trial that he was "just doing what he was told." He wanted to see just how far people would go when they were just doing what they were told.

Milgram brings in people to do this experiment. One as being the teacher and one the student. What the teacher doesn't realize is that the shock box is fake and that the student is an actor. The teacher is then instructed to ask the student to respond to a series of questions and each time the student gets them wrong they are to push a button that sends a shock to the student (the teacher cannot see the student, he can only hear him). Each wrong answer brings a higher shock level. The shock levels range from a few volts up to a deadly 450 volts.

Milgram expected less than 1% of the people brought in to be teachers to actually go all the way to the end and administer 450 volts. The actual % that went to the end was 65%! There were quite a few people that questioned going so far but were told to keep going. They were told that they wouldn't be held responsible for their actions. That it wouldn't be their fault. A quote that this Milgram made after the experiment was "If you want to see the face of evil, look in the mirror."

So, can *objects* actually be evil? Money, TV, jewelry, tattoos, piercings, movies, music, (yeah, I picked things that are vilified in the Christian community... damn, I'm going to hell {NOT}... I like to watch TV & movies, I listen to metal music, I have tattoos and piercings... damn... LOL) etc... I DON'T think so. I really believe we project onto those things our fears and issues and let them take control over our lives.

We choose to make them evil and give them power over our lives, they are not evil in and of themselves.

TV, Limits, and Unschooling

There's been a huge discussion happening on the Always Learning group about TV. I'm not going to post everything that has been written but pretty much the gist of the conversation is that there is one unschooling mom who has made the choice not to have a TV in her house because she herself has a problem with spending too much time watching it. Her concern is, is she really limiting her daughter's world by not having one. Is it really an unschooling "no-no" not to have a TV in her home.

Joyce Fetteroll gives a wonderful response to that question (posted below).

On Aug 10, 2006, at 4:13 PM, (anonymous) wrote:

> my question is: Is is really such an "unschooling no-no" to have a home without a TV? <

I think a better question is "Am I expanding or contracting my child's world by what I'm doing?"

It's not that kids can't learn without TV. Kids have been learning ever since their only toys were sticks and rocks!

There are unschoolers who live beyond the range of decent TV reception. There's a whole world of options that aren't TV. And we can talk about options for bringing the world to kids when broadcast isn't available.

But, when TV is available, when *parents* make the conscious choice not to bring it into their homes, it is the same as deciding not to use books or not to use the internet or not to go to plays. It's deliberately cutting off a resource.

And a secondary effect is that *when parents think TV is bad*, it's very difficult for children not to pick up that message. No matter how careful the parents are. No matter how much they insist that if the child asks for it, they'll get a TV. The child *can't* freely choose TV without knowingly choosing something she knows her parents think is bad.

Same goes for non-organic food. Other religions. Plastic. Anything the parents have decided is *bad*, that they don't for themselves want in the house, can't be freely chosen by a child.

That's not an absolute pronouncement that every parent who feels uncomfortable about TV will have children who feel uncomfortable about watching it. But the atmosphere is there, nonetheless. And it takes a lot of extra, special interaction to counteract the message the parents are silently sending.

So it isn't truthful to say "Yes, you can choose not to have TV and your child will grow up without picking up your fears and will be just as knowledgeable as those who have free access." You're creating a situation that is likely to lead to a child feeling she can't freely choose TV when she wants. Can you counteract that? It will entirely depend on your awareness and sensitivity of your daughter, your awareness of yourself impact and your ability to counteract what you're creating. It will be dependent on your personalities and your environment.

We can help you see what the world looks like from your child's point of view. We can help you create an environment of freedom. But we can't help you counteract a deliberate limiting of your child's world. That's work you'll have to do yourself because what's needed -- if it's possible -- will entirely depend on the personalities and abilities in your family.

Joyce

Pam gives this response:

On Aug 10, 2006, at 1:13 PM, (anonymous) wrote:

> I DID say that I feel TV is evil, but I ALSO qualified that by saying not "evil" in the "devil" sense, but just something bad for me, personally. <

You have to expect people will take you at your word, on a list like this one. When you said "tv is evil," I understood you didn't mean in the "devil" sense, but, instead, in the usual sense of the word meaning extremely malevolent and harmful.

As for whether or not you can unschool without a tv? Sure. But tv's are inexpensive and offer a more glorious and bountiful window to a wider world than any other resource, so to choose not to have one because you think it is "evil," is not a particularly "create-a-rich-environment" kind of unschooling parent approach.

Also, people "can" live without all kinds of things. My husband grew up with literally only one toy - he received one small toy bear as a gift and that was the ONLY toy he ever had. He played in the countryside with rocks and sticks and he had a wonderful childhood.

So, should we have decided to let our children have only one toy? Why should we decide to deprive our children, on purpose, of wonderful joy-bringing things - things we can afford?

-pam

Pig, a game of math

Thanks so much to Steph at Throwing Marshmellows for posting about Pig.

To play Pig, roll two dice, add them together and the first one to 100 wins. To make it more interesting, if you roll a 1, you get no points. If you roll double 1 you loose all of your points. The game is found in The I Hate Mathematics Book by Marilyn Burns.

Fun Stuff for Unschooling

I purchased some fun stuff from another local homeschooler today. A few of them are games (Dancer loves games so this is perfect)... a few others are trivia books which she loves... I'd have to say the coolest book is "World's Wackiest Inventions". Here's a few for example: Edible Tie Pin, Air-Cooled Rocking Chair, Eye Protectors for Chickens, Bed-Wetting Alarm, Automatic Hat-Tipper, Safety Coffin, Boomerang Bullets, etc...

I'm always looking for quirky, wacky, and fun things to do and read. Fun ways to make our lives fuller and more joyful, thus furthering our experiences and learning.

Here's all that I got:

Books:

• World's Wackiest Inventions
• 30 Wild and Wonderful Math Stories Grades 4-8 by Dan Greenberg
• Math-A-Magic: Number Tricks for Magicians by Laurence B. White
• Storms & Blizzards: The Natural Disaster Series by Mary Micallef

Games:

• 'SMATH: The Game that Makes Math Fun (Board Game)
• SET: The Family Game of Visual Perception (Card Game)

So, You're Still Spanking Your Kids?...

Spanking is all to prevalent in the Christian community (violence when we should be spreading love... especially to our own children)... I really want you to pray, open your hearts and minds to change, and then read Amanda's blog and her wonderful explanation to why we shouldn't spank our kids. There are three posts at this link, please read them all. :)

More on spanking and other punishment

The Celebration

The Celebration is the local annual street festival. There are multiple large stages for music and shows and other smaller stages for other festivities. There is a carnival ride area and lots of booths with people selling stuff, etc...

I'm not a people person (I can't stand being in large crowds) so I usually only head down there when there's some music act that I really want to see. I really want to see the ABBA tribute band called ABBA Gold... I've heard they're from Canada. But they would be playing today and I have to work this evening. Yes, I LOVE ABBA... I always have!

Dancer went down to the carnival rides with my dad last night (she LOVES the rides! they make me sick {except roller coasters }... she's always taking advantage of carnival rides in the area and takes quite a few trips to Six Flags St. Louis during year). She had a good time last night playing games with my dad (she brought home quite a few prizes) and riding rides (uh, he doesn't ride them either... I obviously got the problem with spinning rides from him).

She took off this morning with my mom to go watch the parade and take in some of the festivities this morning. From the sounds of their plans, it seems like they are going to try and fit in some swim time at my uncle's pool this afternoon. Later this evening they are going to help set up a pool for a friend of my mom's. So she has a long day ahead of her... she'll probably crash out like she did last night.

My Daughter hit Double Digits!

I can't believe Dancer is 10!  OMG!  At her birthday party my mom and I got talking about the day she was born and the crazy dash to the hospital.  Here's the story:

I worked that morning at Jo-Ann Fabrics (it was scheduled to be my last day at work before maternity leave... who knew I would actually have her that day!)... I worked 9 to 1 that day.  I felt like crap all morning... so I knew something was going on (but I didn't figure it would be so fast!).  So I left work at 1pm and headed home... which was about a 30 minute drive... on the way I started feeling what to me seemed like really bad gas pain (you know... the kind you get when you need to fart but can't... LOL).  I stopped at the local gas station... so funny, because the girls inside at the counter could tell I wasn't feeling good... they said so, and I actually said "yeah, I feel like crap".

So I get home and the pains still continue (I really didn't have a clue that they were really labor pains... with all the stories I'd ever heard about what they feel like no-one ever said they felt like gas), so I decide to call a friend and ask her to time them.  She does and was like... "um, I think you need to get to the hospital"... holly crap!  are you kidding me!  No way in the world did I EVER think that a first pregnancy would end up with me starting labor pains and then needing to go the hospital so quickly.

So, I call my mom (who lives back in town 30 minutes away!)... and she's like "do I have time to change my clothes"... I'm still thinking, sure, we've got plenty of time.  So by the time my mom actually gets to where I am... the labor have me down on the floor rocking back and forth to help ease the pain (back labor sucks!)... and in between contractions I'm trying to pack my bag for the hospital...LOL!  I call my BF (who is now my husband) and tell him that we're heading to the hospital and he needs to get there (his boss ends up driving him because I think I was supposed to pick him up that day).

So we're heading to the hospital and I'm having to lay the front seat down and get on my hands and knees leaning into the back seat (remember, I had back labor and couldn't sit without it being extremely painful)... I'm yelling at my mom to hurry... LOL.  We pull up at the entrance (and Dodger is already there)... so we're filling out forms on the way up in the elevator (they made me sit in the darn wheelchair... I was so pissed because it hurt so bad to sit).  We get up there and I'm dilated to 8 cm!  I was only at the hospital an hour before she was born.  Crazy!  I start labor pains at 1pm and have her at 4:12pm.  No time for an epidural... just a bit of pain meds in my IV.  It's so crazy that I just laugh everytime I think about it.

I was so scared about being a mom... but she hasn't left my side since (uh, yeah, we were co-sleepers and I breastfed... I AM CRUNCHY AND PROUD OF IT!)... and now with homeschooling/unschooling we're closer than ever.  :)  Attachment parenting is SO awesome!