The Gratitude Path

 "...the antidote to negative thinking is gratitude." - Seeking the Spiritual Path

As I read that, it seems so easy. Just be grateful. Doesn't that seem so difficult sometimes when stuck in negative thinking? I've even had times in my life where it was difficult for me to find anything to be grateful for. Yet, as I look back on it all now, I'm overwhelmingly grateful for the paths I've been down in my life...some were very rough and painful, while others have been smooth and easy...yet, I'm able to find the purpose and beauty in all of those paths now. I'm so grateful that God never gave up on me, like I gave up on him. "You chased down my heart through all of my failure and pride." God, I am humbled by Your never failing pursuit of my heart.

Confidence in God

"I am confident that God will fulfill my needs. Some days I have the "I wants," and I pray and meditate on it." - Seeking the Spiritual Path

I have many "I wants," and today it is to have a good time with family for Easter dinner. Family is always tough for me...lots of triggers and past hurts involved in every conversation. Today, I am confident that God will fulfill my need to stay abstinent, both in food and in emotional sobriety. I am confident in my relationship with God today, and I know God is in everything...every situation...and has not abandoned me. God knows me, through and through, and today I am open and leaning into Him as the day progresses and listening for the still small voice of reason and love. The beautiful thing about prayer is that no one else has to know I'm doing it in the moment, and I can act within the boundaries I have in place in my life around food and around behaviors. I am in such appreciation that I have God in my life today, running things and giving me life, instead of feeling constantly alone and running my life into the ground.

Talking to HP

"As long as I keep talking to my HP in whatever manner and with as much faith as possible, asking only for the strength to do his will for me, one day at a time I will hear him."

During my 12 step work this week, I read something that made me chuckle and spoke volumes... "I don't have to figure God out." I have a part inside me that says, "but...I have to know what God is and how this works." In all honesty, do I really have to in order for this all to work? If I look at the evidence of my own healing in this program or recovery and if I keep reaching out to others sharing my experience, strength, and hope, and hearing theirs in return, I have all the evidence that I need to see that this works...without the elusiveness of knowing what God is and the why of how this all works. What exactly am I asking for as evidence when it's right there in front of me? Isn't what I've already experienced evidence enough to move forward with faith that ie will continue to work as long as I continue to work it? I don't have to continue to be so obstinate about God. I need the reminder often that I don't have to figure God out. The work brings me into a relationship with God and myself. In that work in healing my spiritual malady, the rest will sort itself out. That is a promise that is continuously fulfilled in this program.