Just Covering Up

I made some chair bags out of old jeans and straps off a backpack.

Puddle of Mudd

Dodger and I went down to The Devon this evening to see Puddle of Mudd, one of our much loved grunge bands from the 90s.

Truly Taking the Third Step

 "Once we compulsive eaters truly take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover." - The 12x12 of OA, p. 27

What does it mean to truly take the Third Step? The Third Step prayer says this...

"God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, They Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

In BBA, once we get through steps 6 & 7, we come to understand and make the choice that God is either everything or he is nothing. There is no in-between. I either let God run the show or my life is a complete mess. I am learning how to trust God with everything in my life. It's not always easy to do that. I've had many years of my life where I didn't even believe in God. The thing is, I want to be free of my compulsions which include not only compulsive eating but many other things, too, some of which have been with me since childhood. When I get a little frustration rising, I don't want it to take hours to get over it. Emotionally, I've not be sober either. So, God, with a little patience from you and continuous reminders to turn towards you (thank you Gottman training) and not away, I believe I will become more trustful of your presence in my life and will let you lead. I'm not blind to the parallel of learning to social dance with my husband and letting him lead when I'm not able to see behind me. The more I let him lead, the more I trust that he won't run me into anything and won't let me fall. It's taken practice and a willingness to let go of control. God, I'm letting you lead today, and please gently remind me of when I try to take back control.