Nothing new to talk about...

I've just been so super busy working with my new blogs that I haven't posted here for a few days.

Nothing new to talk about... it's pretty much the same old thing around here. I've been spending most of my days working on my blogs and my evenings running Dancer to her classes.

The new session of tennis lessons start tonight. That will be about $400. Ouch. It only comes to about $22 per class but since we are not members of the club where they are given, then I have to pay the full amount up front. I've been holding back my Christmas money for this.

My upper back is bothering me bad right now and my feet are freezing so I'm going to go lie down under my electric blanket and get toasty warm.

Sledding by himself, yes

I need to get this post in before the battery life on this iPod runs out.

Today was like most normal days in my life. I got up earlier than expected. I played some more on my new blogs which I love. Then sometime around noon I thought I heard a vehicle in my drive. When I looked outside I saw that it was my uncle, the one I've picked up twice from detox in the past week. I hate drop-in visitors with no phone call. I don't care if you are calling me from my drive way, I want a phone call. You just never know what state of dress or undress anyone is in.

So, I asked if he wanted to come in for a bit. Before I opened the door I popped my head into Dancer's room to tell her to put on some clothes. She's always hanging out in just her bra and lounge pants. OMG, he smelled so bad. Like seriously bad. He smelled like hard-core cigs mixed with alcohol. He said he had just come from the detox place, I think he had an out patient thing. But I could tell he had already been drinking, he slurred a bit and had drinkers hiccups.

He said he came to get the snow sled because he was going to go sledding. Sledding by himself, yes. He talked for a bit with Dancer. I talked for a bit till I could no longer stand the smell and turned back to continue working on the computer. He didn't stay much longer after that. He asked if we wanted to go sledding. We didn't really want to but even if we had I wouldn't have gone with him in the state he was in.

Before he even left the driveway, I was on the phone with my dad letting him know uncle Steve had just stopped by to get the sled to go sledding by himself, that he ubber stunk and that I swore he was drinking already that morning. Dad said he's been getting on uncle to shower. I guess it's been who knows how long since he's washed his body and hair. That most likely goes for his teeth, too, but we didn't talk about that. Dad said uncle had some sort-of appointment or meeting to go to at 4. I figured the sledding must have been a way to pass the time so he wouldn't waste gas running back and forth. After he left, I had to spray the area where he was in my living room down with Dodger's cologne.

The rest of my evening has been filled with running Dancer to golf lessons, making dinner, and watching a little TV. Most of the time I've been on the iPod either posting on Facebook or looking for cool stuff on the web.

Well, I'm at 10% battery power. Time to hit send on this app.

I'm just snuggled up under the electric blanket

I woke up around 10:30 am this morning. Dodger woke me up telling me that he was heading out to his friend Matt's place to watch the Cowboys game and to help Matt update his computer.

I felt like messing with blogging again today. Actually the urge came to me last night. Last night I set-up the blogs, today I worked on the layouts (I set-up 2 related blogs), added some content, and set up some fan pages for them on Facebook. I wish I could share them here but I will have to decline since I choose to blog anonymously here. I want to get back to my other blog that I built over the summer. I haven't posted since before Christmas. I still need to rethink the direction of the blog. I started to dislike what it was becoming.

I cleaned up the living room a bit earlier this evening. The futon was looking a mess and it's the first thing you see when you open the door. I had most of the dishes done before Dodger got home. I also got one recycle bin filled before Desperate Housewives started.

Now I'm just snuggled up under the electric blanket, trying to get my feet warm. Dancer is over at my mom's, hanging out for the evening, they are probably rocking some Wii games. I still have more 2 more recycle bins to fill and take out to the curb. I suppose I should do that now before Forensic Files start.

I'm not feeling very positive about my weigh-in tomorrow. It was a hard week for me this week. I don't know why since my mood has been more positive this week. I had some days where I was super hungry and I went over my budget but still logged it and I've had at least 2 days where I didn't log and took free days. My stomach has felt bloated for the past few days. It may not be a good weigh-in. I need to get exercise back into my days. I'm thinking a daily schedule is past due.

What an exceptionally boring day

What an exceptionally boring day! If a day is going to be boring it might as well be exceptionally boring.

This morning I expected to wake up to my alarm set for 10 am so I could go pick my uncle up from detox at 11. As it turned out, he called me just before 9 (waking me up) to tell me they were releasing him as early as 9:30. Egad. After I got my bearings, I called the herb farm (more on why in a moment), threw on some clothes and headed out the door.

I did manage to get there right before 9:30 and he was already outside waiting. As soon as he got in the truck, I told him that the herb farm (it also sells much of what you would find at a small health food store) had some Mustard Flower Essence in stock and that it's been proven to lift mood. I was hoping that it would help him over the weekend till he sees the doctor on Mon. He was open to trying it so we went and got it. I also got a bottle for my family. I've struggled with depression since my teen years and Dodger and Dancer have bouts of the blues. As you know, if you've been reading here for any length of time that I've been taking St. John's Wort for mood for about 6 months now.

After we got out to my dad's, I ran him down to the ATM. He needed to pay me back for the flower remedy and a bit for gas money. After that I dropped him off at my dad's, took the death sled out of the extended cab of my truck. I left to head back into town to stop at the grocery store and he went down to the auto shop around the corner to pay for his car starter repair.

He sounded so much better today than when I picked him up on Mon. The convo between us came easier. I let him know I completely understood the crazy cycle of addiction and depression. I know he drinks to medicate himself from the depression. I know the lack of control he feels to not drink and the drinking itself contributes to the depression. I've lived it with food. I've lived the lies in my head and the self-loathing in my heart. I know all about it, it's not pretty and it's not fun.

We talked about my cousin Kim and his wife and their marriage. I had no idea they lived like they do. It's a broken situation and rather sad. She doesn't trust him and doesn't love herself and he doesn't stand up for himself even though she's spending them into the ground and he works 100 hour work weeks to pay for it. He might lose his job soon. The food company he works for is selling off the division he works in. Their kids are in school, so there's no good reason why she can't work to support her own spending.

The rest of my day has been super boring. I've realized how much I'm limited on this iPod. I want a laptop or netbook so bad. I am researching courses for my own personal self-study. Many of the courses are online. I want to study up on things that will make returning to college easier for me. There's no reason why I can't already know the subjects before taking the classes. I'll either rock the classes or be able to just test for credit without taking the courses.

There is absolutely nothing on TV on Sat nights. It's so frustrating. Hardly anyone was on Facebook tonight either. I guess I'll go back to my boring evening.

sledding with our dearest friends

I haven't posted since Monday. What? Does my brain even remember that far back? Let's see...

Monday Dancer had golf lessons. I played on the iPod while she was in class. I'm thinking I paid some bills that day, too. I know that sometime since Monday I got some higher APR credit cards transfered over to a 0% APR offer. I hope we can get it paid off by Aug, which is when the offer expires, but it's $4000 so that's a stretch.

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Tues. Dancer had dance class. I dropped her off and ran errands. I went down to dad's work and picked up the sleds he brought into town for me. I also went to the post office and credit union. When I got back, I sat out in the truck and waited for her. I searched out some free online texts and courses that I might be interested in pursuing.

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Wed. we went sledding with our dearest IRL friends. I did dress to go sledding but ended up talking to my friends the whole time. Besides, the hill where we were sledding was really steep and I wasn't sure that I could get back up it once I went down it. Also one of my friends didn't dress to sled (I don't know why she didn't dress warmer) and I didn't want to take off and have her feel left out.

That night I had my first night back in ballet class. I was surprised what I remembered after nearly 3 years of being out of class. Most of the class seems to be newbies, so I'm not freaked out anymore. Miss N also told me that I'm welcome to join any part of Dancer's class, which is right after mine (it's the level that I was at when I stopped dance class), that I want. I think once I get comfortable with my recall then I'll join that class for barre work to begin with.

Once of the ladies in my class was trying to talk me into doing the spring dance concert. I'm going to have to pass. I already have costumes to pay for for DD and after getting my power bill today, well it's just not going to happen.

Wed. was also my birthday. :)

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Thurs. was our first day back at co-op. All in all it was a pleasant day. I'm not required to help in any of the classes because I'm on the board but I don't want to sit in the cafe for 3 hours, although that may change once I get more into my studies, so I'm sitting in on a class all 3 hours, 2 of which are ones Dancer is taking.

Dancer also had dance class this evening. While she was in class, I started the pre-algebra course on free-ed.net. I'm hoping that Dancer joins me in taking it. It's not set up at all like a regular text or course. It will give me a good review before diving into an free online algebra course.

I'm thinking I have a few years before Dancer might take college courses. I also want to go back to college. I don't want to have to take remedial coursework that won't give me any credits. There's no reason why I can't or shouldn't study at home now so I can go straight into credit or even do the CLEP tests and get credit for the class without having to take it.

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Tonight Dancer had tennis lessons. It's her last in this session. Next week I'll have to pay for her next one which cost a little over $400. Ouch. I've been saving my Christmas money for it. The sessions are 18-19 weeks long so the cost per lesson is good but I have to pay for them all up front because we aren't members of the athletic club where they are held.

Something yesterday triggered my thought process that I would like to study anthropology. I've always been interested in that as well as sociology. So I found some great coursework online today for anthro and ended up finding a slightly older edition of the text on PaperBackSwap. I also found some other forensic anthro books on PBS, too, and put a few on my wish list that aren't available yet.

I really think I'm going to go back to school to get a degree in forensic anthropology and/or forensic sociology. Why not? Why not dream big? The cost would all be covered by grants because of our income level. Nothing is financially holding me back.

I also got my free copy, care of the most generous author who commented on my blog recently, of "One Year to an Organized Life" by Regina Leeds. Thanks again, Regina. I'm thinking that a workbook would be a great supplement to the book. I tend to be a step-by-step learner. I like lists. I need to have something to check off. I do love the book so far. It's style suits me.

I am going to be done with this post now. I want to work on the math course and need to get to bed at a decent time. I need to pick my uncle up from detox again in the morning. He went back in on Tues. He actually didn't go a day out without drinking. He needs meds for his depression and they discharged him without giving him anything. He actually called in a suicide threat so that he could go back in. Without meds, he has no coping skills for his depression other than drinking. I doubt he makes it till Mon, which is when he's supposed to see the doctor and get meds, without drinking again.

2 fried ice creams

Sunday Dancer and I went to dinner with my mom and step-dad for my birthday. We went to the little Mexican restaurant by the old Circuit City. I love Mexican food and this restaurant has the BEST pico de galo. Yum yum yum.

Mom had them make 2 fried ice creams to take back to her place after dinner. Once we got back to her place I opened a gift from them. I got a cute scarf, some kitchen utensils, a cute thin wallet that matches the cool purse that I found at the thrift store last month, a Best Buy gift card, and a little cash that my mom insists that I use on myself and not Dancer.

We spent the evening playing Wii Sport Resort games. We all played and had a great time. My arms are sore today from playing the rowing race game. I got to blow out candles on cupcakes and we ate them with the fried ice cream. The fried ice cream was so good.

After we got home last night I cleaned my room up and folded my clothes. I haven't hung them up yet but at least they aren't in a pile on my bed anymore. I also sent an email to Dancer's dance instructor (also my former dance instructor) to ask if any other adults were signed up for the adult ballet class. It's been over 2 years since I've been in class. I quit because my weight was getting out of control. Now that taking care of myself and losing weight, I want to get back into class. I've missed it. This is what I'm spending my birthday money on. I'm scared, for sure. Weight wise I'm still not where I want to be. I don't know how much ballet I actually remember or if my body can even do what it could just a few years ago. I tried on my one and only leotard just a bit ago. It fits, so I have no excuses to not register.

I had to pick my uncle up from the detox/rehab center today. I drove him back out to my dad's this afternoon. He bought me a little gas on the way to compensate for driving him out there. When we got there my dad was close to heading out to work, so I was able to say hi and chat a bit.

I picked up a movie from the Redbox to watch tonight with a free code. The regular price of $1 per movie per night is awesome but free is better. Redbox isn't passing out the free codes as often so I try to take advantage of it when they do.

Dancer is at her golf lesson right now. I am finishing up this blog post that I started earlier. I just emailed a friend to let her know that we would love to go sledding with her and the kids on Wed and I just got off the phone with my dad, I was asking him if we could borrow the sled and snowboard.

While I'm waiting I'll read this week's guidance and helps in "One Year to an Organized Life" by Regina Leeds. The WiFi here doesn't let me on Facebook. I'll have to catch up with everyone there later.

Today was a rather relaxed day

Today was a rather relaxed day. Most of my days lately have been like that. It's just too cold to do much and I lack the focus right now to get much done inside especially since Dodger has been sleeping till nearly 6 for the past week. Thank goodness he'll be starting another job next week. He needs to get out of our space during the day.

We were supposed to go bowling tonight with my dad and then go out to eat for my birthday that's coming up this week. But I woke up with my lower back giving me fits so we just went to dinner and then dad took Dancer bowling afterwards.

Dinner was yummy. We ate at the family style restaurant down the road from my mom's. This is the same restaurant that we ate at with my mom and step-dad before we had Christmas with them. They were super busy. The word must be out about their great prices and awesome food especially their rib specials.

Oh, I also woke up to a surprise that totally made my day. I found that the author, Regina Leeds, of the book I mentioned in yesterday's post, "One Year to an Organized Life", had left me a comment on my post offering to send me a copy of her book. Thank you so much Regina! I love your book so far and look forward to working through it throughout this year.

Oh and to top off my good day, I did get enough birthday $ for Dancer to take all of her co-op classes and to pay for the rent fee.

I'm really looking for a good memoir to read

It took me till the beginning of this week to get back into the habit of logging my food everyday. There have been a few days where I went over my budget but I logged everything.

Now I need to get back into the habit of blogging daily again. Every day this week I've thought about blogging but just never did it.

There hasn't been a great deal new around here. My uncle went into detox a few days ago. He did it so he could get into the program offered here for addiction. He's struggled with alcoholism off and on for as long as I've been alive.

I've been feeling like a failure because I don't have the money for Dancer to take co-op classes this semester. A dear online friend sent me some money that will cover 1 class and part of the registration fee (which is really my part of the rent fee we pay to the church where the co-op is held). I'm hoping to get a few $ for my birthday this week that may cover another class and hopefully the 3rd class she wants to take.

I haven't started exercising again yet. I'm out of the habit and it's just damn cold here. I can tell I'm struggling with a bit of the blues from the weather, being unable to get out, not seeing my friends in forever, and worrying and getting angry about money. I'm still taking my St. John's Wort daily. I need to get back to exercising. It helped to elevate my mood and my sense of well-being.

I did take a trip to the library on Tues. to return the movies I checked out a few weeks ago. Dancer didn't want to go with me so I went by myself. I picked up 5 more DVD's, one VHS movie, and a few books. The books I picked out are "Living Buddha, Living Christ" by Thich Nhat Hanh and "One Year to an Organized Life" by Regina Leeds. I've gotten further in the organization book because it's set-up to work through from the beginning of the year. I know I can't check it out for the entire year but I can renew it once and that will get me 2 months time with it. I figure I can scan the next month if need be and then check it out again or I hope to find it on Paper Back Swap.

I'm really looking for a good memoir to read. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. I'd prefer memoirs by women.

We had a frozen pipe in the tub last night

Oh my gosh, I am so glad the chaos of the past two weeks is over! I've barely exercised and I haven't logged a day of food in over a week. Ugh.

It's so super cold here. We had a frozen pipe in the tub last night before I went to bed. We've been letting the water run a bit overnight but when I went to turn on the cold knob in the tub last night it was already frozen. Dodger got under the house today with our blow dryer and got the thing thawed out.

I've been vegging since getting up. My electric blanket is just way too comfy to get out from under for very long. I do need to go out and start my truck because this cold has been taking a bite out of my battery life. I also need to go sign Dancer up for golf lessons that start Mon. evening. I will probably wait till tomorrow to sign her up.

I told her last night that we probably won't be doing co-op classes this semester because of cost. We can't afford co-op, golf, tennis and the extra expense of dance costumes right now. Something has to go. It's a big bummer because she was really looking forward to the classes. I feel bad because this is the first time we haven't been able to afford for her to do something that she's really interested in doing. I feel extremely guilty because if I had not quit my job I doubt that there would be an issue with this.

It's at times like this that I get really angry concerning money. I just want to cuss out the people who are gallivanting around with no money lack at all. I see people on Facebook talking about booking trips or getting a new laptop because of a Christmas bonus and I just want to scream. I'm not happy for them at all. I really want to tell them to shove it.

More catch-up...

More catch-up...

Sat. we went to my mom's for gifts with her and step-dad. We met them for dinner at the little diner down at the end of their road. The food was delish. After dinner we went to her place to open gifts. We ended up doing our gift opening downstairs because the living room is being used as a sewing room right now.

My mom was in a great mood the whole night. Dodger and I both noticed it. She was pleasant and conversational and didn't snip once about anything to anyone.

After gifts, Dodger took off to play poker with some friends. Dancer and I stuck around for a bit. They played on the new Wii Fit for awhile and then I took her out to my dad's to spend the night.

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Sun. we went over to my dad's for dinner and gifts. My sister had sent up gifts for us that we opened there. She got me a ruana wrap that I already had and a stainless steel water bottle that I love.

For some reason she got Dancer a Tampa Bay Bucks t-shirt and ball-cap. As if Dancer would ever put that crap on. I'm going to resell it on eBay and recoup something out of my sisters mis-spent money.

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Mon. through Thurs. Dancer spent over at my dad's with her cousin and my uncle. They went ice skating and sledding while she was there. By the time I went out there Thurs. night for New Years Eve she was sick of my uncle. They were seriously on each others nerves. She came home with me on New Years Eve because she didn't want to spend any more time around my uncle.

We did go back out there on New Years Day, Fri. night, to have dinner and spend one more evening with the cousin before she heads back home on the plane tomorrow (well later today, as it's 1:14 am now).