Circle of Online Friends

Aren't there situations in life where you just feel so helpless to help. I'm feeling like that right now. I have a dear online friend who's husband has been out of a job for about a month or so now and she emailed me yesterday to tell me that she's about at her breaking point. Her husband just can't find work and they can't pay their bills or buy food. She went to the food pantry yesterday but they were closed by the time she got there. They are also on the verge of having their power shut off, too. I did rally the troupes... I emailed our group of online friends and asked them if they were able to help. Well all have sent money via PayPal and a few of them are ordering food from Amazon to be delivered there on Monday. I just know that they are in need of food now and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. She lives more than 7 hours away from me. I'm not financially well off by any means and having just quit my job, we're even more tight with money than before. I sent her Christmas money that I had been saving back because their well-being is more important than some gift for Christmas.

::sigh::

I don't really feel like posting about my day but I will because I don't want to let that go by the wayside. I need an outlet. This writing is my outlet. I'm feeling very hungry today. I know it's because I feel helpless to help my friend. So, instead of eating, I'm going to write.

Yesterday, I got up around noon again. That's really starting to bug me. I woke up around noon today, too.

I spent my afternoon not doing much. Dancer had tennis lessons at 4:30. My mom called around 3 and made arrangements to pick Dancer up from lessons. Then around 5:30 she called and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with them. Because I try and do the monthly dinner out appeasement with my mom, I said yes. Dodger and I usually spend Friday evenings together because it's our alone time but since my back has been a big huge pain, there wasn't going to be anything happening there. So, they ended up picking me up on the way to get Dancer from tennis. We did a little shopping at the Dollar General. My mom purchased a few things for us. I'm not a big shopper, BTW, so I really only picked up a few needs and I let my mom buy me a cute decorative scarf.

My mom always sees me wearing the same things. That's because I'm fat and I don't have money. lol. She mentioned a few times about dressing the body I have but again that takes money. And again, I hate shopping. If you've ever been overweight, you know how much of a pain in the butt shopping for clothes is. It's not fun at all. I have plenty of cute clothes waiting for me as I lose this weight and get back into them. She doesn't think I have any style, which isn't true, I love clothes and fashion. I just don't have the money or the body to think about that for myself right now.

After shopping, we went to eat in a little diner in Macon. I was a little worried about going out to dinner without having food information first. But they did have a few things that were worth eating. I had the grilled tilapia, steamed baby carrots, and a salad. That reminds me, I don't think I logged my salad yesterday. Not that the calories amount to much with some iceberg lettuce, a few slices of tomato and onion but it still needs to be logged. It was good food. Yummy.

After dinner they dropped me off at home and Dancer went back to their place to play games. Scrabble was mentioned, icky. I'm more of a card game player. I don't like those word games at all. I watched the last half of Medium (still need to go back and watch it from the beginning) and some Forensic Files.

Around 11 is when I checked my email and got the email from my friend that I mentioned above. If I could have grown wings, I would have been there in a heart beat to help her out. If was hard for me to respond because I can see how she's at her breaking point spiritually. She mentioned how she's been thanking God daily for feeding them and keeping a roof over their head, she was doing good until yesterday when it all just started crashing down. When her prayers and thanksgiving weren't being answered like she expected them to be... like the hope of religion says they will. I told her that I had lost my faith after praying for years but that I didn't want to discourage her from doing whatever was necessary for her to get through this. But, you see, for me, it's no longer about prayers and answered prayers... it's about action and asking and reaching out for help. It's now about people and helping each other. It's about friendship and love. I'm not sure that prayers are answered, but I do know that calls for help are answered. I do know that humanity still cares for one another and wants to help each other out. No one wants to see a family struggle and not have food or power or a place to live.

So, I rallied the troupes. And my call for help on the behalf of my friend are being answered. We've been there for each other before. I felt compelled to give money to one of them before and then ask the others to help, so that she could get out of an abusive situation. We've been there for each other before. I just wish there was more I could do. I feel like calling some of the churches down where she's at and asking them for help but I'm afraid of them taking it as a way to try and get them to come to their church. They don't go to church and don't want to, even though they still believe in God. Would you do it anyway, just to get your friend some help?

I told her about the public assistance programs that we have in my state and county and asked her if there was anything like that near her. I think she may have found a few places to ask for help. And said she also looked into getting public food assistance (she needs to apply for medical and cash, too, while she's at it) but said she doesn't even have the gas money to get there. I asked if there was a plasma donation center near her because that's a quick way to get some cash. I tried to think of everything that I have available in my area, because I hope that she has those options near her.

I guess I'll go ask the troupes if calling the churches around there are a good idea. Many of them are non-churchers, too, but they may say that we should do it because it's such an immediate situation. I am more than willing to get up early tomorrow and start calling churches. By now, I'm sure that no one is around on a Saturday evening. Maybe I could start with some emails. IDK.

So, anyway, the majority of my day today has been searching getting in touch with our online group of friends and searching online for help in her area. Dodger called earlier and asked me to thaw some chicken. I cleaned up the bathroom and kitchen a bit. I replaced the string of lights in a decorative light that Dancer made, since the light has been burned out for some time now. My feet are freezing and I need to go put on some socks. I guess, first I'll go and send out another email about contacting churches in my friend's area.