TV, Limits, and Unschooling

There's been a huge discussion happening on the Always Learning group about TV. I'm not going to post everything that has been written but pretty much the gist of the conversation is that there is one unschooling mom who has made the choice not to have a TV in her house because she herself has a problem with spending too much time watching it. Her concern is, is she really limiting her daughter's world by not having one. Is it really an unschooling "no-no" not to have a TV in her home.

Joyce Fetteroll gives a wonderful response to that question (posted below).

On Aug 10, 2006, at 4:13 PM, (anonymous) wrote:

> my question is: Is is really such an "unschooling no-no" to have a home without a TV? <

I think a better question is "Am I expanding or contracting my child's world by what I'm doing?"

It's not that kids can't learn without TV. Kids have been learning ever since their only toys were sticks and rocks!

There are unschoolers who live beyond the range of decent TV reception. There's a whole world of options that aren't TV. And we can talk about options for bringing the world to kids when broadcast isn't available.

But, when TV is available, when *parents* make the conscious choice not to bring it into their homes, it is the same as deciding not to use books or not to use the internet or not to go to plays. It's deliberately cutting off a resource.

And a secondary effect is that *when parents think TV is bad*, it's very difficult for children not to pick up that message. No matter how careful the parents are. No matter how much they insist that if the child asks for it, they'll get a TV. The child *can't* freely choose TV without knowingly choosing something she knows her parents think is bad.

Same goes for non-organic food. Other religions. Plastic. Anything the parents have decided is *bad*, that they don't for themselves want in the house, can't be freely chosen by a child.

That's not an absolute pronouncement that every parent who feels uncomfortable about TV will have children who feel uncomfortable about watching it. But the atmosphere is there, nonetheless. And it takes a lot of extra, special interaction to counteract the message the parents are silently sending.

So it isn't truthful to say "Yes, you can choose not to have TV and your child will grow up without picking up your fears and will be just as knowledgeable as those who have free access." You're creating a situation that is likely to lead to a child feeling she can't freely choose TV when she wants. Can you counteract that? It will entirely depend on your awareness and sensitivity of your daughter, your awareness of yourself impact and your ability to counteract what you're creating. It will be dependent on your personalities and your environment.

We can help you see what the world looks like from your child's point of view. We can help you create an environment of freedom. But we can't help you counteract a deliberate limiting of your child's world. That's work you'll have to do yourself because what's needed -- if it's possible -- will entirely depend on the personalities and abilities in your family.

Joyce

Pam gives this response:

On Aug 10, 2006, at 1:13 PM, (anonymous) wrote:

> I DID say that I feel TV is evil, but I ALSO qualified that by saying not "evil" in the "devil" sense, but just something bad for me, personally. <

You have to expect people will take you at your word, on a list like this one. When you said "tv is evil," I understood you didn't mean in the "devil" sense, but, instead, in the usual sense of the word meaning extremely malevolent and harmful.

As for whether or not you can unschool without a tv? Sure. But tv's are inexpensive and offer a more glorious and bountiful window to a wider world than any other resource, so to choose not to have one because you think it is "evil," is not a particularly "create-a-rich-environment" kind of unschooling parent approach.

Also, people "can" live without all kinds of things. My husband grew up with literally only one toy - he received one small toy bear as a gift and that was the ONLY toy he ever had. He played in the countryside with rocks and sticks and he had a wonderful childhood.

So, should we have decided to let our children have only one toy? Why should we decide to deprive our children, on purpose, of wonderful joy-bringing things - things we can afford?

-pam