The Man Challenge aka The Dad Challenge

image by Kefi, pd

Over the past few days, I've posted about the current winter in my relationship with my husband.  Yesterday, I decided that I wasn't going to settle for winter.  That I could indeed bring about the spring that is so desperately needed here.

Last night I read a Marriage Mote, an email subscription that is sent out for free by Caring for Marriage.  The message was meant for men in regards to their wives but it is easily adjusted for any marriage/partner relationship.  The email lists 5 facts for husbands about their wives from the book For Men Only by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhaun.

Here are those facts...

Fact# 1-Inside my dear wife, that little dancing girl is still very much alive. Only now she twirls for me.

Fact# 2-In our marriage, whether I find her beautiful may or may not be foremost in my mind, but it is an everyday issue for her.

Fact# 3-In our house there is really only one mirror, and it is me.

Fact# 4-Every day, I can reflect back to her the words she so needs to hear. But if I don't I leave her vulnerable to both her inner questions and external pressure from an intimidating world.

Fact# 5-In my hand I hold a hammer.

And yet, I can change these things around to fit my partner.  I am his mirror everyday.  What is he seeing?

So, today I offered up a challenge to myself and to my daughter.  How can we change dad's attitude?  He's been negative and grumpy and we've been reacting to it.  Many times we are obvious about the fact that we would prefer him to not be at home.  That breaks my heart when I think about it.  How would we feel if our family didn't want us at home?  We wouldn't feel very welcome or loved, would we?  So, I offered up the challenge today to treat dad like we want him here... like we're grateful for what he does for us... that we actually do like him, as well as, love him... to adjust our attitude towards him.

She's up to the challenge and so am I.

I think I hear the ice melting already.