Friday, October 1, 2010

Depression, Schedules, and Balance

Tuesday night Dancer told me that she thinks she's depressed. She said she feels lethargic most of the time and is only truly happy when she's dancing. She expressed some other concerns to me, too. I told her that most of her concerns and feelings were normal that there were many other people who felt the same way about things. I think it made her feel better to hear that. I told her that I felt her excessive computer time was contributing to her feelings of depression. I let her know that there was nothing wrong with spending time on the computer but that it's best used in balance with other things in her life. She has goals and dreams for herself and she needs to be conscious of where her energies are being spent.

{and just so you know... I have expressed all of this to her in the past... the only thing different now is that it's self-directed from her and not top-down from me. I am here as her facilitator, mentor, and friend. she was not given to my care to boss her around but to be here to guide her as she figures out who she is and what she wants.}

We tossed around ideas and she made up a daily tasks schedule that she wants to follow. She also asked me to start getting her up earlier in the morning and that she will start working on trying to get to bed earlier so that getting up at the time she wants to get up won't be so hard on her. She wants to get up early enough in the day so that she can attend to the things that will get her closer to pursuing her dreams so that by the afternoon she'll be free to spend time RPing (Roll Playing) and Facebooking with her friends.

So for the past 3 days I have gone to bed by 1:30am so that I could be up in time to get her up at 10am, the time she's chosen to have me wake her up. She has jumped into her daily tasks without anything from me but a "What do you want to do next?" Today she felt worn out from her week and decided to sleep lightly till noon after I woke her up. After that needed rest, she was up and at it.

I also makes sure she takes her vitamins daily and I'm having her take Mustard Flower Essence to help with the lethargy and depression. I read up on depression (as if I didn't already know enough about it from my own struggles with it) and I'm going to make sure that her diet promotes well-being, too. Today I suggested that we take a short walk everyday while the weather is still nice to get some sunlight and fresh air.

It feels good to once again be motivated to be a better mom and a better person over-all for the benefit of my daughter. From the very beginnings of her physical existence, she's been my motivation for all that I've done to be better and do better. I am so grateful that this parenting style promotes her openness and honesty with me. I know when I was her age, I would have never felt comfortable going to my mom and telling her I was depressed. I suffered through depression all through my teen years and half-way through my 20s. It was a terrible, dark time for me. And yet, without that struggle, I wouldn't be able to empathize and certainly wouldn't know the causes and the cures for it. Nothing we experience is in vain.

So, before I start to cry, I will end this blog post. I will plead with you to come along-side your kids and be their best friend. I ask of you to please be the parent you wish you had had. Treat your kids like the whole human beings that they are. They are not empty vessels waiting to be filled. They are already whole beings, they just need guidance from someone who's got more life experience. They need LOVE and understanding!

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