Go Make Your Bed... Shine Your Sink... Or Whatever

By now, I think, that most women have some knowledge of FlyLady and her tips, tricks, and schedules to get and keep your house clean and organized.  She's great.  I've taken quite a few of her ideas and tweaked them to fit me, my home, my lifestyle, and my personality over the years.

One of those things I've taken and made my own is her insistence on shining the sink every night.  My sink can't be shined.  It's old.  It's really, really old.  Think old metal cabinets old.  What's that, from the 1950s or something?  There's that and there's the fact that Dodger has been a painter for most of the time that we've lived here, 16 years now, and we clean his brushes and roller covers in that sink.  If I scrub hard, I can usually free it from the random paint stains but in no way, shape, or form can it be shined.

Besides, I'm not really "at home" in my kitchen or any kitchen, for that matter.  The kitchen is really Dodger's domain.  He's a fabulous cook.  He's one of those people who uses food and cooking in a creative way.  He doesn't ever use a recipe and comes up with some of the best tasting food I've ever had the pleasure to put in my mouth... I like to eat.

What I have found, is that I LOVE having my bed made everyday.  I make it within 30 minutes of crawling out of it each morning.  I love my bedspread, that Dodger brought home from a client last summer, and the throw pillows that I recovered last fall.  Making my bed helps me set the tone for the rest of my day.  If I have a bad moment during the day, I can go flop myself on top of my beautiful bed and snuggle up a bit under the handmade crocheted afghan, that I also keep on the bed, and feel a little bit better and tucked away from the harsh world outside my bedroom door.

What you also can't tell is that in between the beautiful handmade bedspread and top sheet is a well-loved reminder of some of the most wonderful memories of my childhood.  Sometime last year, I found my old Smurfs sleeping blanket in a box in my garage.  I've had that sleeping blanket since I was a young child.  I used it every summer on family vacations and other camping trips.  It's witnessed tons of my most precious memories.  It's insides are all balled up now and it's faded and has a few holes but I could not bring myself to throw it away.  So now it's tucked away where it can't be seen but it's still useful to me.  It helps keep me warm at night, still.

Making my bed daily is my equivalent to FlyLady's shining of the sink.

So, if you don't like your sink, your kitchen, or for whatever reason shining your sink doesn't "get you off", then find what does!  Find one thing that you can do everyday that makes you smile, makes you happy, and sets the tone for the rest of your day.  Find the one thing that you can go to throughout the day to admire and to find peace in when things get a little rough.

FlyLady is great and all.... but what she recommends is only great for you if it works for you.  If it doesn't, then change it.  Find your FlyLady equivalent.

You'd never know just by looking at them that one of those pillows is a Scooby-Doo pillow and another is a Spongebob pillow.

The hand appliqued bed coverlet that one of my husband's clients sent home with him one day. They were getting rid of it. I absolutely love it. It's direct from India, which is where his clients are from. What you can't see is that underneath that coverlet is my childhood Smurfs sleeping bag that I can't bear to get rid of.

Loving What Is

Every morning I wake up to evidence that my husband, the love of my life, lives here. His clothes are on the bathroom floor, behind the door. The cabinets in the kitchen are usually left open. There is usually a cup with a milk ring at the bottom and evidence of a late night snack on the floor in the living room.

For the longest time, I hated it. I hated picking up after him. I resented his careless living style. The messes made me feel like he didn't care.

Lots of things have changed since then. I worked on my heart issues and stopped resenting him. We've connected at a deeper level, emotionally, since then. I've worked along side him at his job and I know how hard he works, how much he cares, and just how physically and mentally taxing his business can be for him.

So today, as I'm cleaning up the little messes reminders that he (he... the love of my life... the one who I come to love deeper on a daily basis... the one who mirrors my issues right back at me... the one I chose to be with for the rest of my life.) lives here, I realize that one day he will be gone and I'll miss the very things that I used to resent. There will no longer be any daily evidence of his existence, of his life, in our home. Maybe I'll be the first to go and he'll miss the daily evidence that I live here... that I take care of him and have his back... and he'll miss me.

Please quit taking your spouses for granted. Love them for who they are. They are not the little messes or the little mistakes. Welcome them home at the door with a smile and a hug.

It took a long time for me to get here, to this place inside of me, that appreciates the messes and forgives the mistakes. But I'll tell you, it was worth it, so very worth it.

One day, I'll have to leave the cabinet doors open, the clothes on the floor, and evidence of a late night snack, just so I can remember just how much his love and his life means to me.

Pace Smith, writer and spiritual misfit, wrote a really great blog post about resentment. It's lovely and I think it would change your heart if you took the time to read it.

Missing My White Space

Don't get me wrong... I love technology and what it's brought into my life but there's a downside to it and it's been bothering me lately. I think back to the time before AOL brought the whole world to my fingertips and I wonder how I filled my days.

What did I do in my free time? There was a ton more white space in my life then. Time to daydream and make plans. Time to go out and explore nature and soak up some sun. Now, it seems, I'm always connected to somewhere or someone online. Being constantly connected has only gotten easier over the years, with WiFi and mobile options, so many of us, more often than not have our face glued to some sort of machine.

I just miss the times when my brain had time to relax and I wasn't always searching for something new to do, or join, or learn, and I could just be alone with my thoughts... in the white space of my life.

Insanity Takes Its Toll

Any friends reading this will know that I was working my way through the Beach Body Insanity workout program up until a few weeks ago when my body wouldn't let me go any further.  I made it through 7 weeks and 2 days of the 9 week program.  I even did it on Christmas Day for goodness sakes.  But a few weeks back my body was at the point of deep soreness that I could no longer keep proper form, no matter how much I modified the exercises.  This was causing me some pretty heavy-duty pain in my lower back.  I've already had my back go out on me a few times in the past and I knew if I kept going that it would go out again.

So, I decided it was ok to take a week off.  Then that week turned into two weeks.  Now I'm in my third week off and when I get right down to it, I don't want to start it back up again.

Insanity hurt me.  It's extremely high impact and after the first week of doing it, my feet were killing me and it made an issue I already have in my right foot flair up again.  Getting new workout shoes did help with the pain but I did start to modify all of the plyo moves in every workout.  No more jumping and high impact for me.  I was still dripping in sweat after every workout that I was modifying.  But by the time I decided to take a break, my modifications had become such that I felt I was no longer getting a good workout.

It was extremely important to me to finish this program but now that I've given myself a chance to heal and when I really think about it, I don't want to do that to my body anymore.  Finishing a program like that doesn't make me strong.  I already know that I'm strong.  Finishing something that is hurting me just doesn't feel like a smart path to take.  I did what I could until I could do no more.  That doesn't make me weak.  I didn't give up or stop until I could feel real pain coming on... pain that would cause serious injury.

I'm ready to get back to my workouts but Insanity will not be it.  I will not be finishing up the last two weeks of that program.  I'm ready for some yoga, pilates, zumba, weight lifting, and every-so-often some good HIIT.  No more high-impact workouts for me.

I'll miss looking at Shaun T.'s hot body everyday.  ;)