One Foot In Front of the Other

We're going through some pretty tough financial times here right now.  At the beginning of September, I started donating blood plasma again for money.  We had no money for food, after paying bills, and very few groceries in the house, so off I went to the quickest place I knew to bring in extra cash.  The first 5 donations in the first 21 days paid $50 each, so that was extremely helpful.  Now I make $60 a week doing it, donating twice a week.  At this current moment, I have $2 left in my bank account, $20 on my plasma card from my donation on Wednesday, and a small bit of cash in my wallet for any tiny necessity that might come up.  And I had a friend who just yesterday insist that she let me allow her to pay-it-forward to me and is dropping a little extra in the mail for me tomorrow.  My pride says no, but who am I to say no to her spirit-led and heartfelt gift?  Abundance comes in ALL forms.

I think Dodger has an invoice to deliver and will get paid again on Monday.  Due to some issues with the kitchen cabinet job he started back in June (the clear coat aged and discolored the paint) he had to spend time doing extra work for free.  That time also set him back on other jobs he needed to get to, paying jobs.  So things bottle-necked and just kept getting tighter and tighter until the money was just barely trickling in.  But I haven't been late on a bill yet or not able to pay and that's a huge blessing.

But in the midst of this, I made a pretty big decision about my goals for the future and I finally realized what I want to passionately pursue as a career.  I've been feeling the pull towards finding my path for awhile now but it hit full force recently because this is Dancer's last year homeschooling and I really need to put my focus on me now and work towards making a better life for my family.  But the pudding needs to proof before I can or will divulge any details.  Don't ask, I won't tell.

Also, making the big decision above also led to a few other discoveries.  I've found a non-trivial reason to focus on my healthy eating, exercise, and weight-loss goals.  With that came being ok to only do workouts that I love, which happen to be Tae Bo and kickboxing style workouts.  I truly don't care what the "experts" say, if I don't love what I'm doing it's not going to happen.

My upper back issue between my shoulder-blades has flared up recently.  Here's what I think I have, Snapping Scapula Syndrome, and it's extremely painful, so I think it's an inflamed bursa caused by the rubbing.  I really should try to see a doctor about it while we still have medical coverage.  I'm certain it's the stress that's causing the flare up.  I still work on staying in good spirits, though.  How I view my current circumstances at any point is still my choice.

So, life moves on.  I continue to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.  When the going gets tough, the tough get going.  I'm learning that lesson now more than ever before.  I've got a fire in my belly because I finally found what I'm passionate about and I am in the process of making the plans to make a career in that happen for me.  There is hard work ahead of me... some very hard work... but realizing a dream then making it a goal and planning it out down to the small details makes that hard work become efficient and doable in small steps.

Getting Quiet

I am a part of this wonderfully supportive online group of women.  When everyone else is being "bah humbug" and negative, these women are always sharing positivity and love.

Yesterday, I listened to one of them give her last online radio show for Hay House.  Her shows have always been great but this one was so spectacular.  I'm in an inner space right now where the inner gnawing is coming to the surface and I'm inclined to really listen this time.

Dancer is getting older and will be starting college next fall.  Being a "housewife" isn't all that fulfilling to me, even though I have developed a decent love for housework... except the toilet cleaning!  Ick.

It's time to break open the dam and let my creativity take hold again.  I need to surround myself with creative people and spaces again.  I used to work around it all the time before needing to change jobs because of Dancer's dance schedule.  Then I worked at a place that not only sucked the creativity out of me but also started to take my health.  I still, to this day, have a serious back problem from that last job.

I also want a way to help financially support my family that uses my creative energy without working for someone else again.  I refuse to have anyone else dictate my time and my life ever again.  It would take a serious financial hardship to get me to set foot in retail again or to have anyone tell me when I have to work and what days I can or cannot have off.

So right now, I'm working on getting quiet and really listening to my inner callings.  I need to listen and then get out of my own way so that it can flow.

The Past Two Months In As Few Words As Possible

Let's see if I can summarize the past two months of my life into a post that isn't miles long so that I can feel ok with getting back to regular blogging.  Those two months happened and I can't feel ok with just letting them slip by without saying something.

So...

At the beginning of June, I helped Dodger with a job for 10 days.  It was nice to get to spend that time with him.  We finished listening to Robinson Crusoe via Librivox on an iPad app (we started it way back last August on the FL job).

Here are a few pictures.

Entertainment center (before).
The primer didn't stick so we had to sand the entire thing! Ugh!

Entertainment center (primed).

Entertainment center (after).

Kitchen (during). I, unfortunately, didn't take any before pictures.
Everything was an ugly off-whitish faux finish before painting.

Bottom part. My job.
Screwed up my wrist and forearm doing this job. It still hasn't healed.

Lovely brown.

During that time, Dancer had summer dance lessons, tennis lessons, and dance company practice.  So, many days I was helping Dodger, then running home to take her to her things, then going back to help him when they were done.  She even helped us on the job, the last day we were there, after one of her practices.  (He is, by the way, still working on this job as of 8/3.  There have been unforeseen issues with the top cabinets and the "clear" coat that was put on them to protect them.)

All of the doors got put in the trunk of my car and brought home so we could work on them here instead of taking up space in the clients garage.  So I got my garage cleaned up even more so that there would be space to lay them all out while they dried.

The rest of June and the first part of July was filled with more of running Dancer around to her classes and dance company performances.  During the summer, her dance company performs for daycares in the area.  The kids really seem to enjoy seeing them dance.  There is, on rare occasion, one little boy or girl who's just not into it but for the most part I think they all have a good time.

Dancer has also been helping my mom and step-dad fix up the house they just bought.  So many of her weekends have been filled up with that.  She also been golfing with my dad on the weekends, too.

Towards the end of July, Dancer turned 17.  She had a bowling party at Spare Time Lanes on one weekend, thrown by my mom and step-dad.  She chose a bowling party this year because it's always so darn hot on her birthday and she wanted something inside and something for everyone to do.  My dad got her a bowling ball as an early birthday present, so that she could have it and use it at her party.  Then the next weekend, we had a birthday party for her at my dad's place.

 

She also had math club on Tuesday afternoons a few times in July (we still have one more scheduled this Tuesday).  Math isn't her favorite thing but I asked her to do it for a few reasons.  1. it was helping out another homeschooling mom who is using a specific program for this and is doing it to test it out and give feedback to the creators of the program.  2. she hasn't seen this group of friends since Halloween and that's just crazy because they all get along so well.  3. she needs to get out of her comfort zone and better to do it amongst friends.

Right now we're on a break from activities until dance starts again in a few weeks and tennis should start up again soon, too.  I've only had to leave the house to grocery shop or run to the back and that's been really nice.

Dancer is going golfing with my dad this afternoon.  I cleaned up the pile of books and folders that were on my recliner a few days ago but now it's filled with a stack of fabric, so I think I'm going to set up the sewing machines and do some sewing this afternoon.  I've got some clothing repairs to do and fabric from my friend, Sarah, to make her cloth pantyliners.  I told her that I'd make them for her because I think the prices online for them are just ridiculous.  I think I'm going to have to print off the pattern again, though, because I'm not sure where I stuck the one that I already printed off.

The Case Of the Disappearing Blogger

It's been over a month since I posted last.  I've quite often thought about loading the dashboard up and posting but I'd just end up putting it off.  Keeping a log of my life is important to me but at the same time, I've found that since I've gone back to posting on Facebook I post here much less often.  I'm hoping that I can find a way to balance things in my life so that I can fit all of my interests into my days.  I tend to flit here and there, like a mosquito does.  There are things about that way of living that I like and things about it that I don't.  I just haven't got it all figured out yet.  ;)

The 411 about the last month of my life in the next post.  :)

My latest Instagram photo, which BTW I've also been neglecting.