February 18 2020

I didn't eat any breakfast. At lunch, I had no feelings around food but had seconds of broccoli salad and bread...which I worried about. At dinner, I was pretty neutral even though I had just paid bills, and money tends to trigger me. Cookies were fine...not too sweet and didn't feel too much.

February 17 2020

During dinner, I was slightly emotional and slightly hurried. The discussion during group supervision was quite intense.

The rest of the day, I was mostly neutral around food.

February 16 2020

Noon: A little bit of anxiety about what I need to get done today. While eating, I started to think about how I was eating...fast/slow; did I put my fork down between bites; should I 'pray' before eating/during eating? There's some worry/fear about 'doing it right' and not trusting myself.

5pm: I ate during study break. I felt mostly calm and stress-free. I was more mindful of putting the fork down between bites.

Dinnertime: I was stressed about the flu outbreak at Gateway. I became more stressed and feeling guilty for calling off because of the flu outbreak. Eating did feel like it could turn into compulsive eating at any moment.

connection lost {haiku}

butterflies panic
the questions left unanswered
lost our connection