Circa 1975

Saturday, February 10, 2024

I can let myself be happier by...

listening to my selves and honoring their needs. I can play more, explore more, get out of my comfort zone more. I can dive into my interests with vigor and passion until the next wave of interest comes along and I can let myself get swept up into it. I can rest when I need to rest, rather than trying to push and push and push myself to succeed...whatever that means. Really, when it comes down to the end of it all, am I going to want to be holding my awards or am I going to be wanting to hold my memories of the full and active life I've created and led? I already know the answer to that question. I want to create the environments that lend themselves to happiness...that means getting out there and getting involved in life and trying new things, even when I'm scared. I find happiness in connecting with myselves and others. I find happiness in spending time with family and friends. I find happiness in being creative. I find happiness is community and activity. I also find happiness is my alone time with myselves and with God, learning more about us and leaning into that inner guidance that I can then go out and pursue. I find happiness in growing as a person who wants to make a difference in the lives of those who I come into contact with. I find happiness is knowing who I am and making no apologies for that.

I can stay in-touch with my family and friends by...

reaching out when I think about them. Technology allows me multiple ways to stay in-touch with those I love. Sending a little text, sending an email, leaving a voicemail, just to let them know I'm thinking about them. It's important to let them know I'm interested in getting together, and making efforts to set-a-date for this to happen. Life moves so fast, and it's too easy to get caught up in the daily grind. Having boundaries between work and play is important for me to maintain connections with my family and friends. I love my career, however, when shit hits the fan, it's not going to be my career that's there to support me. I have a few trusted people in my life that I make the biggest efforts to stay in-touch with, and the rest I do my best to reach out once a month or so to connect with. Friends in my past are in my past for a reason. It is my hope that as I move along in building an active and big life for myself that I'll meet new friends along the way. I'd like to know a few couples from our dance class better, so that maybe we can all go social dancing sometime. Due to my social anxiety, it takes a lot of me to reach out to new people. Yet, here I am, talking myself into having a conversation with at least one of the regular couples in class...or even one of the new couples. And, I'll reach out to my mom today to talk about scheduling a crafting day with her soon, as this was something I suggested a few weeks ago, and she thought that was a good idea.

I can be courageous to express my feelings and to live a true to myself when...

I'm not fighting my inner-selves. I have noticed as I've been in the recovery program of OA, that my inner-selves get along a whole lot better than they ever have. I've also noticed that I judge myself a lot less, and that "true to myself" takes on a different meaning. It's "myselves"...meaning that the whole f me is involved because we know and respect each other's roles in navigating life. It was only once I started exploring my inner-selves, their needs, wants, desires, pains, etc, that I was able to begin to put aside other's expectations of me without being self-destructive and acting like a rebellious teenager. I am thankful for my rebellious teenager...she keeps me moving and not accepting the status quo. However, when I was living life from a place of fear and resentment and anger, my rebellious teenager was acting from those places, and that was causing more pain to myself and others. Now she plays a healthy role in my life, keeping me aware of when when my voice needs to be heard, by myself and others. She also takes care of my inner-children who want to play and have fun, not worrying about anything and exploring new things...like this journaling workshop I'm doing right now (which is where this writing prompt came from). So, to be true to myself, it's important that my inner-selves love and respect one another.